21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 300

 

Baa Baa black sheep

Have you any wool?

Please say yes sir

To make my wagon full

 

No, I don’t have any wool

You bloody Wally

I’m not a sheep

I’m your Border Collie

I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 1

 

I’m thinking about taking a holiday

But I don’t know where to go

However, I may end up in Sane

How I get there, I don’t know

As they don't have an airport

You can be driven there though

EATING WITH THE INLAWS

An evening spent

With my wife’s family

Is good food and wine

And gracious hostility

A THOUSAND SOULS

 

A thousand souls

Plus, half a thousand more

Never again to feel

Land beneath their feet

Lost to the icy deep

For man’s conceit

And lay there still

In companionable rest

Beneath the icy sea

With the unsinkable lady

Of the White Star Line

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY AND I’M SEVENTY THREE

 

It’s my birthday today and I’m seventy-three

And I’m fit as a fiddle, nothing wrong with me

Although my memory's not like it used to be

And also my memory's not like it used to be

MY WIFE SAID I WAS NOT MYSELF TODAY

 

My wife said I was not myself today

Which I thought was a funny thing to say

But then she went on to say to me

She noticed the improvement immediately

GROWING OLD TOGETHER

 

Growing old together

Is not an easy trip

In fact, as time goes by

It’s just a pain in the hip