SATURDAY NIGHT TREAT

 

On a Saturday night when I’ve had some a ale

There is one thing that delights without fail

And it’s the only thing that will satisfy me

And that’s Donna on a spit for all to see

WHAT A DAY

 

On Monday he was grumpy

He was happy on Tuesday

So, God knows what kind

Of a dwarf he’ll be today

SHOP ASSISTANCE

 

I was shopping

With my wife

And we found ourselves

In the alcohol isle

But couldn’t decide

What we should get

So we asked the man

Filling the shelf

What he would recommend

He gave us both

A cursory glance

Before he responded

“I think Crabbies for Madam

And for sir,

The Old Peculiar”

Cheeky git

We bought a case

Of Wine as well

A SMALL PRANG

 

I had a crash with another car

It was my fault, Granted

And the “little man” got out

And God how he ranted

“I’m not happy” he shouted

“I’m not happy” he said again

I just and smiled and said

“Which one are you then?”

CHRONIC CONTRADICTION

I am definitely not getting past it

I’m sorry I have to contradict

But my back trouble is a result

Of being Athletic, not arthritic

VINDALOO

 

He had the Tarka Vindaloo

The rotter

It’s like Chicken Vindaloo

But its otter

I WORK AT THE MET OFFICE

 

I work at the met office

And my name is Bob

I have to do the pollen count

God it’s a difficult job