HOW MUCH

 

My blonde girlfriend

Is dumb to the core

She asks for price checks

At the pound store

THE LADY MONDERGREEN

 

THE LADY MONDERGREEN

 

Everything nowadays has a name every illness, every condition has a pigeon hole, every hobby or pastime, every job and occupation and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, after all that is one of the functions of language.

Names and definitions enable us to know what someone else is talking about as well as feeding the habit of those interested in trivia.

I like trivia myself all those interesting facts about just about anything, the origins of surnames, inventors, adventurers, sporting events, who did what to who and when.

In fact my head is absolutely full of useless bits of trivia from irrelevant facts to complete rubbish I even know the origin of the word trivia.

All of which brings us neatly to the purpose of my rambling namely that all of us at one time or another have listened to a song and got it wrong and completely misheard the lyric, sometimes just the first hearing and sometimes every time you hear it.

I’m sure that everyone has a list of their own that they can recite but one that always sticks in my mind is from the Queen classic “Bohemian Rhapsody” the correct line is “spare him his life from this monstrosity” but I always hear “spare him his life from his Walls sausages”, I know it makes no sense but that’s what I hear.

I once heard Billy Connolly telling one of his tales many years ago, which happened when he was working in America, it was about a little girl in church who instead of singing “Gladly the cross I bare” sang “Gladly the Cross Eyed Bear”.

Now I’m sure that you all have far better examples than the two that I have mentioned.

All this leads me neatly to the point where I impart my little piece of boring trivia, a little gem of trivia which just happens to be the name to describe a misheard lyric, that word being ‘Mondergreen’.

The word “Mondergreen” is derived from an old folk song that was released on a record in the early 1950’s which contained the line “They laid him on the green” but this was misheard and was thus misinterpreted as “The Lady Mondergreen.”

Now wasn’t that an interesting bit of rubbish.

 

I would be interested to hear your own examples of Mondergreens.

WHATS IN A NAME (7)

 

Did anyone else see William Strutt?

Did anyone else see Nicky Butt?

Does anyone know is Shelley Long?

Does anyone think is Nancy Strong?

PC COFFEE

 

Coffee, black

That’s all I crave

Nothing fancy

Just black coffee

Not latte

Or espresso

But now I’m told

It’s not PC

To ask for black coffee

Apparently

To be PC

I must order

Coffee without milk

HAMLET’S ANAGRAM – TO BE OR NOT TO BE # 2

 

Is a befitting quote from

One of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies.

But why won't Hamlet's

Inspiring motto toss

Our stubborn hero's

Tortuous battle for life,

On one hand,

And death, on another?

REUNIONS

 

Reunions are strange affairs

“I haven’t seen you for years”

Someone says

Faces swim at you from the crowd

Faces from the past

Meeting old friends

Greyer in colour

Frailer in body

But still recognisable

 

You swap stories

Exchange remembrances

Grasping for names

In the far reaches

Of a cluttered mind

You pour over old albums

Picking out familiar faces

“His name was Chisholm”

“What was his first name?”

“George?”

“No he played trombone”

“Tom, Tim, no Jim”

You feel pleased with yourself.

 

At such gatherings

Amongst the sea of faces

There is the one who

Appears as if

From a time capsule

Making you feel older than ever

Then there is the one

Who talks incessantly

About everything

And nothing

The one that causes you to vow

“This is my last reunion”

When next you’re asked

But you always relent

EURO TRASH # 4

 

I am proud not to be

A European I must admit

As I don’t have to display

My virility or permit

Myself to be chased by bulls

And avoiding fighting it