WELL OIL BE

 

It says on the label corn oil is made from corn

And vegetable oil is made out of vegetable

But to find the contents of baby oil I am unable

MASCARA

Why can't women

Has anyone ever supposed?

Put on mascara

With their mouth closed?

SACHNUSSEN’S LAW

 

If someone owns some land

Is there some rule or law?

To determine if they own it

All the to the earth’s core

IN THE MOOD

Not wishing to be rude

But men only have one mood

One mood how sublime

One mood all the bloody time

IT'S GREAT TO BE A MAN

 

It's Great to Be a Man when

We are in need of refreshment

Because we never have to drive

To another service establishment

Because the toilets at the last one

Smelt just a little bit unpleasant

Q & A AGAIN

 

Now I’m getting on yearly

I know all the answers nearly

It’s an irrelevant suggestion

As nobody asks the question

THE LABORS OF HERACLES # 02: THE HYDRA

 

Heracles when driven mad by the goddess Hera

Murdered his three children and his wife Megara

The Delphic oracle punished him for the murders

By ordering him to perform the Twelve Labors

The labors were set by his cousin king Eurystheus

For His second labor he needed his nephew Iolaus

Because his task was to kill the many headed Hydra

Which was known to dwell in the swamps of Lerna

It’s not clear exactly how many heads it possessed

Some claim they know but mostly they only guess

What was known by those who looked it in the face

When you cut off a head two more grew in its place

If that wasn’t enough the Hydra's breath was lethal

To smell its footprints was enough to kill a mortal

He sought out the fearsome monster in its own lair

He forced it into the open with fire arrows in the air

But then the fight began to go in the Hydra's favor

Twining its heads around him despite his endeavor

Hydra called upon an ally, a huge crab for assistance

The crab bit Him on the heel sapping his resistance

On the verge of failure things looked bad for Heracles

He called Iolaus the son of his twin brother Iphicles

Iolaus who had driven Heracles to Lerna in his chariot

Looked on in anxiety as his uncle was tied in a knot

With Heracles tangled Iolaus rushed in to save the day

Grabbing a burning torch and dashing into the fray

So, cutting the hydra’s heads off was Heracles aim

And Iolaus would sear the wounded neck with flame

This prevented and further heads from sprouting

So, Heracles cut off the heads with Iolaus cauterizing

Finally, Heracles lopped off the one immortal head

Burying it deep below a rock to ensure it was dead