MIDSOMER MURDER

 

I was thinking recently about Midsomer murders and how in the first series inspector Barnaby had another daughter.

Cully was either still at school or at college and her older sister whose name escapes me was married.

However, she had the annoying habit of returning home every time she and her husband had a tiff.

These visits were not well received by Barnaby and were often accompanied by wailing, gnashing of teeth and a good deal of tears.

However now there is only Cully and even she was absent in the last outing.

Does anyone know what happened to the elder daughter?

Maybe Tom could take no more and she’s under the patio.

That would be a twist.

However now I come to think of it I maybe confusing Barnaby with Inspector Wexford.

HIGHLANDER

 

Great news of a new reality show that might even be worth watching.

Highlander – (There can be only one)

All the competitors need to do is perfect a really dodgy accent, grow their hair long and dress flamboyantly.

Some degree of expertise with a sword might be useful but not essential and then the public get to vote on who they would like to see decapitated.

Get Laurence Llewellyn Bowen to host and it can’t fail.

GOT THE T-SHIRT

 

I have been there and seen it all

I have been there and done it all

Can't remember much of it at all

LETS FACE IT

 

Why don't men fake an orgasm?

Well, the answers is quite obvious

Because no man would ever pull

A stupid face like that on purpose

YOU !@*$$£! *!&%$£*

Have you ever noticed?

When driving around and about

Or even there and back

Anybody going slower than you

Is an idiot

And anyone going faster is a maniac 

EQUALITY LIBERTY FRATERNITY

 

Since time began, mankind has striven

For simple rights that should be God given

It’s true when we’re born, we’re equal and free

But then some of them go and choose to marry

PERFECTION

If I am a nobody

And nobody is perfect

Then therefore

I must be perfect