When my dad was starting out, he used to deal
In
any and all forms of army surplus material
And
he would buy and sell almost anything
If
it had once been in the service of the king
It
was good business providing healthy yields
And
he even dealt in surplus from foreign fields
Italian
rifles were always a good source of bunce
Having
never been fired and only dropped once
According to my dear wife
It’s
just a simple fact of life
A
clear conscience is actually
The colder the X-ray table
Any technician will admit
The
more of your body is
My father’s always been a bit of a lad
And
he has been since way back when
Even
though he’s now getting on a bit
He
hasn’t changed and he’s at it again
He’s
still enjoying sex at sixty-seven
You
might admire him for his prowess
Yes,
he’s still enjoying it at sixty-seven
The
problem is he lives at number ten
If an eighteen thirty girl won’t let you sin
You
just have to persevere and not give in
If
you believe you have her on the brink
Just ask her “Do you want another drink”?
A man and his dog walk into the pub
Each
night to drink with the locals
As
the man has a drink, the man’s dog
Lies
down and exposes his genitals
And
oblivious to his audience the dog
Then
lies on his back and licks them
Another
man looks on in admiration
Saying
“Is no one as impressed as I am?”
He
then turns to the owner saying
“Now
that’s a thing I wish I could do”
The
dog’s owner looks at him smiling
“Well
give him a crisp and he’ll let you”
