THE SCULPTOR CREATES

 

The sculptor creates

With skilful hands

The beauteous article

An artistic gift

Its concept borrowed

From his dreams

And his subconscious mind

To infuse in his design

And create a work of art

IN GEORGE CLOONEY’S LATEST ROLE

 

In George Clooney’s latest role

He’s to play the part of Kevan

A habitual paedophile

And it’s called "Oh, She's Eleven?"

MY WIFE IS MAD YET

 

My wife is mad

Last night she snored so loud

That she woke herself up

Then she hit me

For snoring so bloody loud

That I woke her up

 

But to add insult onto injury

Which left me upset

I was the one who hadn’t

Even been to sleep yet

NIGHTIE NIGHT

 

I was feeling fruity last night

But my wife wasn’t in the mood

She said she was too tired

For doing anything rude

 

But I was still feeling fruity

So, I pleaded for her to succumb

Finally, she said “ok”,

“Pull my nightie down when you’re done”

MATING CALL’S

Well, the mating call of the common blonde is “I think I’m drunk”

While the ugly blonde has a much louder call “I SAID I’M DRUNK”

Then the mating call of the brunette “all the blondes have gone”

And finally the mating call of the redhead. “I’m the last one” 

POUND STRETCHER

 

I remember one of the airlines had once 

A promotion that never got off the ground

It was called the pound stretcher and it

Applied no matter where you were bound

I think if I recollect you could go anywhere

In the world on a stretcher for a pound

DISHING THE DIRT

 

I often wonder exactly how many

Honest, intelligent, caring men

It takes, in the world, to wash up

That will be both of them then