ON THE ROOF

 

Two lonely aerials meet on a roof and start to date

Very soon they fall in love so it must have been fate

They name the day as their love has proved resilient

The ceremony was rubbish, but the reception was brilliant

WATCH AS ROBBIE BURNS

 

I’m curious to know was Rip Torn?

Did anyone else see Oliver Bourne?

What do you think does Alice Leed?

You should have watched Doris Speed?

Does anyone know was Ann Frank?

I have often wondered is Lauren Blanc?

Was anyone else watching John Peel?

Did anyone else notice David Steel?

 

What do you think will William Tell?

Does anyone know does Joan Bakewell?

I guess I’d like to know is Diane Pretty?

Can anyone remember was Tom Petty?

It’s nice to know we have Barbara Bach?

Does anyone think is Cilla Black?

I’m curious to know is David Batty?

Can you remember was Jacque Tati?

 

Can anyone remember was Mark Bright?

I have often wondered was Ian Wright?

Does anyone know is Alan Green?

Did anyone notice was Robbie Keane?

Tell me once again who did Rob Roy?

What I really want to know is Bob Coy?

Is it really true you saw Dan Dare?

Am I the only one to see Dani Behr?

 

Does anyone know is Allan Sly?

I would have liked to see Elizabeth Fry?

You should have seen that William Strutt?

I can’t believe you didn’t see Nicky Butt?

I’m curious to know is Shelley Long?

Tell me once again is Nancy Strong?

Did anyone notice was Stuart Little?

I have often wondered will Dr Doolittle?

BARBRA

 

Do you think if a man

Walked into a bar

His dyslexic friend

Would walk into a bra

INTERNET SHOPPING

Shopping on the Internet

Is very good indeed

Delivered to your home

If that is what you need

 

Plain paper packages

Arriving at your door

Discretion always guaranteed

Of that you can be sure

 

Devices and appliances

And leather goods as well

Hoods and whips and manacles

Whatever rings your bell

 

Theres a degree of anonymity

With this way to shop

Which is all-important

When you’re an Archbishop

POLITICO MUSICO

 

It seems at Westminster they have a choir

And the making of music is their only desire

Now although they sing all hail and hearty

Because the choir was made to be cross party

They find it hard it seems to sing in harmony

The result of their efforts is a real cacophony

It’s obvious to me why they can keep the beat

They’re not singing from the same hymn sheet

CONCEIT

 

What is the height of conceit?

That’s an easy one to claim

It’s having an orgasm and then

Calling out your OWN name

MIXED FEELING

 

I would define a mixed feeling

Which I have concluded so far

To be when you see mum-in-law

Back off a cliff in your new car