An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 17) Jennifer Freckles

Unlike the eager self-confident Emily Gomez, her best friend
Jenny Smithson had not yet come to see me to receive her special birthday gift.
Even though I knew, from Emily’s pillow talk that she wanted to every bit as much as her friend had.
So that was why Jennifer Smithson was still a virgin nine days after her sixteenth birthday and I was beginning to think the whole summer would pass before I split her strawberry whiskers, so imagine my surprise when one bright august afternoon the lovely red haired Jenny crossed my path.

I had spent the morning playing a foursome with three of my favourite ladies Judith Hunt, Victoria Braithwaite and Pandora Parkinson-Brown.
Alas no opportunities arose for any alfresco dalliances but a very pleasant morning was spent nonetheless. Afterwards I lunched with the ladies at the club.
As we sat at a table Victoria said
“I can’t be late home today, Maisie's coming to help me tidy the attic”
“It must be important” Judith said, “If you’re going to cut your lunch short”
And we all laughed.
The Victoria said, “If truth be told I do rather look forward to the days Maisie comes to help me, she’s really such a nice girl and very good company”
Then Georgia came over to serve us
“Good afternoon ladies” and said to me
“Its nice to see you keeping such good company for a change” then to the ladies again “I hope he’s not leading you astray, he has such a lot of bad habits”
Victoria blushed and Pandora gave me a knowing smile.
Georgia then gave me a look that said just stick with the old birds and behave yourself.
What she didn’t know of course was just how badly two of these old birds could behave given very little encouragement.
So after a very nice lunch in very pleasant company, and feeling a little over indulged, I decided to forgo my usual short stroll across the 18th and headed off in the opposite direction for a constitutional.
Since moving to Bushy Down in January I had completely immersed myself in
Village life, apart from the Golf Club and the Church I was also persuaded to sit on the parish council, which I thought might be not unlike a scene from the “Vicar of Dibley” but in reality it was nothing of the sort and was actually quite rewarding.
I have also been press ganged into giving talks and live readings to the Women’s Institute, the Round Table and the Rotary Club et al.
I helped at the Summer Fete, numerous Fund raising events and Quiz nights and I had already been penciled in for duties at Halloween, bonfire night and Christmas.
I had taken to village life and the village seemed to have taken to me and not just the women and I always enjoyed my village walks immensely.
On this particular occasion I took a longer than usual walk owing to the larger than usual lunch I had consumed.

My extended walk took me right around the village and after about forty minutes I headed towards home.
Very soon I was approaching the old cart lane that led to the back of the cottage and that was when I saw Jenny coming the other way.
She had her strawberry red hair tied up which was mostly hidden beneath a broad floppy hat.
She was wearing a green bikini top and had a beach towel draped around her shoulders.
On her lower half was a floral sarong, which I presumed was hiding the partner to her bikini top.
And Jenny was clutching a garishly patterned bag to her middle and she was looking at her sandals as they were shuffling and scuffing down the lane.
To be honest she looked lost and lonely without her sidekick Emily.
Emily was the outgoing bubbly girl and Jenny rather lived in her shadow.
In many ways they were chalk and cheese, the dark skinned dusky and exotic Emily and the pale skinned peaches and cream Jenny.
I know I shouldn’t compare them but I find it hard not to.
Being that they came as a pair and were both of the same tender age.
They were after all the “flirty virgins” who teased and titillated me so well on that hot Sunday afternoon in May.
Arousing me to the point that I popped Georgia’s cherry on the patio table.
Emily was ultra confident, self-assured and pretty and she knew it.
Jenny was shy, socially awkward and full of self-doubt she was also pretty but had no idea of the fact.
Emily was the driving force in their friendship, bold and bubbly.
Being with her made Jenny feel more confident, daring to do things she would never do alone, living life on her coat tails and without her friend Jenny floundered.
Which was evidenced but the rather pathetically forlorn creature who was ambling towards me.
So it was then that I called out to her.
“Hi Jenny” I said
She almost jumped out of her skin
“Hello” she said blushing as she tried to catch her breath.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” I said
“Its ok, I was miles away” Jenny said
“Are you missing Emily?” I asked
“Yes” she sighed “and she’s only been gone a few days”
She looked quite sad but hopefully from this chance meeting I might put a smile on those pale lips.
Jenny was fresh faced and make up free so I thought it truly was a serendipitous meeting which I had every intention of taking full advantage of.
Which is another way in which she differed from Emily,
Em didn’t do things by chance and if it had been her walking down that lane towards me it would be because she had planned it that way.
Not, by all accounts, that Jenny didn’t want it as bad as her friend did she just didn’t have the know how or the gumption to get it.
“But today fate has taken a hand” I thought to myself
“So what have you been up to?” I enquired
“A BBQ at aunt Jane’s” she answered, “I left early because I caught the sun a bit”
She lifted the towel off her shoulder so I could see.
“Oooh” I said “have you put something on it?”
Jenny shook her head
“That’s going to burn if you don’t,” I told her “come to mine”
“Ok” she said more cheerfully
And I took her back up the lane.
“You have the wrong complexion for sitting in the sun” I said
“I know,” she said with resignation
“With your lovely pale skin you need to stay in the shadows” I said.
She blushed at the compliment.
Although I was thinking that hopefully I could bring her metaphorically from the shadows to bathe in the light of lust.
I didn’t think it was going to be as easy as it was with her friend but it would happen.
I apologize again for the comparison but Emily came and sought me out on the very afternoon of her birthday, made up, perfumed and wearing special “bought for the occasion” matching lingerie.
I thought it would take a little more guile this time but faint heart never won fair maiden.
When we arrived at the house I showed her into the lounge, she’d never been in the house before.
I gently took the towel from her shoulders and threw it down on the sofa “lie down on the towel while I get the aftersun”
When I returned she was lying face down on the towel with her head and torso on the sofa and her legs stretched out on the footstool.
I knelt down on the floor next to the sofa and perused her pale young body.
Jenny had her head turn to one side and was facing away from me.
The sunburn was nowhere near as bad as it looked but I didn’t tell her that.
“This might hurt a little, but let me know if you want me to stop” I said
“Ok” she answered meekly.
I wondered at that point if she knew what I had in mind for her.
I squirted some cream on her back and began to gently rub in the lotion.
“How does that feel?” I asked
“Cool” she replied
I wasn’t trying to get her cool I wanted her to get her hot.
I rubbed some more.
“I need to undo your bikini top sweetie,” I said innocently “so I can properly apply the lotion”
“Ok” she said her voice breaking slightly
So I undid it and pulled it softy away from her skin and then I slowly rubbed in the surplus lotion until it was all worked in to her pale freckled skin like a long relaxing massage.
Then I squirted some more onto her, only this time instead of the middle of her back I deposited it on her shoulder blade so I would run down her side.
“Oops” I said and then followed the drip with my fingers, not trying to catch the drip, but rather following it or chasing it as it dribbled down her side and sought out her breast my hand pursued and I very quickly found my quarry.
Jenny let out a soft murmur as my hand reached inside her cup then she rolled her shoulder towards me giving me clear access to her plump little breast and I played with her rosebud and she murmured again, louder this time as I teased her nipple to erection.
When I had toyed and teased her nipple to distraction I returned my attentions to her torso.
I massage the lotion all the way from her shoulders down to her hips.
I loosened the knot on he sarong and uncovered her, and I was right about her bottoms they did match.
I continued the charade by massaging all the newly uncovered flesh from her hips right down to her ankles.
By the way she was fidgeting I knew it was time to pull down her bikini bottoms which I did slowly and deliberately her body stiffened and she lifted her hips ever so slightly off the sofa and the green fabric moved easily off her buttocks.
I had them off over her feet seconds later she uttered no protest.
.
Once I had her bottoms removed I slid my hands up her legs and massaged her tight firm buttocks then I pushed her legs slightly apart and slipped my fingertips into her moist crevice, again she uttered no protest.
Jenny wasn’t as vociferous as Emily she just buried her face in the towel and let out a series of low muffled moans and gasps but her lathery lips told me she was enjoying my fingering.
Then I pushed her thighs wide open until she was completely accessible to me and then I sipped from her fresh pink clamshell.
She squirmed as my tongue explored the petals of her pussy.
Had I not felt Jenny’s body go rigid or seen the evidence on her lip I would have known as even with her face buried in the folds of her towel I clearly heard her come.
I couldn’t then turn her over onto her back to deliver the coup de grace because of the sunburn.
So I supported her legs with one arm and pushed the footstool away with the other, then I lowered her legs, bending her body at the waist in the process until her knees were on the floor.
This presented her round white bottom to me, and more importantly the moist pink lips of her cunny.
Now it was time to release the beast in my shorts and when I had the swollen stalk in my hand, helmet exposed ready for action I thought to myself that hiding her face in her towel wouldn’t disguise her moans when this penetrated her.
So I grasped her hips firmly and pulled her onto me until my cock was deep into her tight young pussy and Jenny gave a little squeal of delight as I added another cherry to my collection.
It didn’t take long until she had come again as I gave her one long satisfying stroke after another.
And by the time I had got onto the short strokes Jenny squeaked on each inward motion until I brought her to her final climax when I shot.
Jenny lay there, my cock still inside her, quivering and sighing repeatedly through her towel.
She sighed even louder when I withdrew from her pussy.
Jen wouldn’t get up and dress with me in the room even after I’d defiled her so I left her to sort her self out and went in the kitchen to make a drink.
As I sat there in the kitchen I thought to myself Jenny wasn’t a natural like Emily was and she would require a lot ore tutorage but it would be worth it in the end because she had a fine body in several ways better than her friend.
Jenny shuffled into the kitchen still doing up her sarong and I could see the dark green patch on the crotch of her bottoms, “better put those straight in the wash” I thought.
When she finally looked up at me she went immediately scarlet and turned away.
I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me and she buried her face in my chest and held onto me like a vice.
“I can’t believe you’re still shy” I said “after what we just did”
Jenny didn’t answer
“Well you’ll have to come out if you want a kiss,” I added
“A kiss?” Came a muffled query
“I must have a kiss” I insisted “As a reward”
Reluctantly her head emerged from my chest but she still didn’t raise her eyes to look at me.
I put my hand on her chin and lifted it up and then I put my lips to hers and so began a rather lengthy and surprisingly enjoyable kiss. In fact in that regard she was definitely better than Emily.
“That’s better” I said “very nice”
Jenny blushed and giggled.

As we sat and drank our tea I said to Jenny
“I think while Emily is away we should try to do something to keep your mind occupied, which might also help your shyness”
She giggled
So it was agreed that rather than mope about missing Emily we should do something a little more productive.
Jenny would come to the cottage every afternoon at 2pm to further her sexual education.

War Tales

ALONG AN A WAR-TORN ROAD

Weary leaden footsteps
Tramp the war-torn road
Ragged with fatigue
The endless serried ranks
Of weary ragged lads
Stout of heart
March, not in retreat
But ever onward to the foe

BOMBER COMMAND

At last they are remembered
In marble and bronze
In Green Park they stand
The forgotten band of brothers
Silent yet speaking aloud
Of honours unsung
These brave men
Held in contempt
By the very politicians
Who sent them to their deaths
Shunned by Churchill
In the cold light of peace
These forgotten heroes
Of an unpopular campaign
These warriors on the wing
They didn’t question
They didn’t ask why us
They went where they were sent
And half never returned

IN LESS THAN A GENERATION

At the start of World War II
Americans crossed into Canada
To join the war
Because they thought it right

Twenty years later
Americans crossed into Canada
To avoid the war
Because they didn’t want to fight

Lusty Stuff

THE GIRL IN THE ONE-PIECE DRESS

The girl in the one-piece dress
Figure hugging
Seamless and crease free
Smooth and fluid
A curvy lass
No bones showed through
Everything moved in unison
Smooth as liquid silk
In fact the contents of that dress
Seemed not to be a solid
So fluid was the movement

DISH OF THE DAY – EMILY

Sweet, sweet Emily
My sweet confection
With Demerara skin
A honeyed morsel
Wrapped in white silk

Just visible beneath
Her pristine shirt
Tantalising the senses
Are the chocolate peaks
Of plump brown muffins

Sweet caramel delights
Perfectly formed
In provocative silhouette
To whet the appetite
Sweet, sweet Emily
My sweet confection
My favourite desert

PRETTY GIRL ON A BICYCLE # 1

Pretty Girl on a bicycle
In a summer dress
Stood up on the pedals
To make better progress
And get her up the hill
Her dress billowed in the breeze
And to universal delight
Showed a view above the knees

THE LOVELY LADY ELEANOR

The lovely lady Eleanor
A pretty young woman
A sweet dusky maiden
With luscious skin the shade
Of molten chocolate

With an Exotic scent
That makes your head spin
And your pulse race
And leaves you dizzy with delight

Her sweet Angelic face,
Is heavenly framed,
With rich soft curls,
Shiny like a raven’s wing
And black as jet

Her soulful eyes
Brown like burnt sugar
Are warm and inviting
With a hypnotic quality

Her exquisite nose is small
And button like
The perfect punctuation
For her Demerara lips,
Which are softly moist
And have a constant smile
Playing around them
And when she unleashes
A full-bodied beam
Her whole face lights up
Bright enough to dazzle a star
Making her dark eyes
Seductively beguile

Elegant lady Eleanor
Gracile like a cat
Playful as a kitten
Unintentionally coy
Unambiguously sweet

Delicately limbed
Lithe and lissom
With dainty hands and feet,
Small like a child’s

She holds her head high
With assurance and confidence
On her swan like neck
Which sits symmetrically on
Sculptured shoulders
Atop a sleek slender frame
With a tiny waist
And narrow hips
Small round buttocks
Almost like a boys
And her braless breasts
Small and pert
Sit in perfect parity,
Nipples sensually erect

Unimaginably she is
Unaware of her allure
Oblivious to her beauty
Sceptical of any appeal
Incredibly she doesn’t see
The woman she has become
The woman she has been
She has come of age
And is at ease with herself
She is in no hurry
To squander her innocence
Her virginity will not be lost casually

Perhaps the most wondrous thing
Is that she will not recognise herself
From my descriptions
She will think it is a stranger
Which all adds to the wonderful whole
That is the lovely lady Eleanor

PRETTY GIRL ON A BICYCLE # 2

Pretty Girl on a bicycle
In a summer dress
Leaning over the handle bars
To make better progress
When gravity intervened
As if in answer to a prayer
And presented to the viewer
The most perfect pair

WHEN I WALKED INTO THE ROOM I SAW HER

When I walked into the room
I saw her, wearing her favourite
Fleecy dressing gown
Curled up in the big arm chair
Her little feet tucked beneath her
And she was hugging a cushion
Almost as big as she
Her tiny frame
Was almost lost
In the over stuffed chair
And instantly an unabated
Wave of love washed over me
And I immediately wanted her

She was such a scrawny little thing
Barely a hundred pounds
Soaking wet
And I had seen her that way
Many times
But I loved her totally
With every fibre of my being
We had been married
For ten years now
And still she excited me
Making love to her was electric
It was like being plugged into the national grid
From the first time to the last
She was just the sexiest girl I’d ever seen

I stood over her
And stared down at her
For the longest time
She was sleeping so soundly
I didn’t really want to wake her
I should have let her sleep
But she would not have thanked me
In fact she would have been miffed
So I knelt beside her
And roused her gently
And as she stirred from her slumber
Her eyes opened and then widened
When she saw me
And she smiled me that come to bed smile
“I waited up for you
Because I’m feeling fruity”
So my sexy girl was roused and aroused
So I took her in my arms
And carried her to bed

DISH OF THE DAY – JENNIFER

Jennifer, Jennifer
A savoury dish
Made in her mothers image
To her mothers recipe
Just younger and fresher
A very delicate dish
Skin cool white
Pale then lips
Eyes eager and expressive
Plump of breast
Round rumped
Slender limbed
Tender loined
Succulent and moist
Very definitely
A perfect starter

DISH OF THE DAY - VIRGINIA

Dear Virginia
No longer the gawky girl
Awkward and ungainly
Self conscious and ill at ease
Virginia has come of age
And is in full bloom
Once the ugly duckling
Now magnificently dressed
For sumptuous dining
Fit to adorn any table
Well-toned limbs
Golden skinned
And plump breasted
With legs invitingly trussed
Tender and succulent
A main course to suit any palate
To be savoured and devoured

JUST ENOUGH

She leant forward,
Bending at the waist,
Just enough
To tighten the fabric
Of her jeans
Shaping and defining
Her buttocks
To pert perfection
Then she leant a little further
Just enough
To expose some dusky flesh
And above her waistband
The merest glimpse
Of pale pink panties
With white lace trim
Showing seductively
Against her dusky skin
Then she straightened up
And turned towards me
Glancing in my direction
She knew I was watching
And she leant forward,
Bending at the waist,
Just enough
To fill her gaping blouse
Her breasts sitting
In pert perfection
Round and full
Encased in pink cups
With white lace trim
Showing seductively
Against her dusky skin
A hint of nipple
A glimpse of areola
Just enough
Through the tight fabric
Deliciously defined
Then she straightened up
Looking towards me
Smiling in my direction
Knowing I was watching
And liking it

PRETTY GIRL ON A BICYCLE # 3

Pretty Girl on a bicycle
In a low cut top
Whose baps almost popped out
I didn’t think they’d stop

They were such nice ones
And they were just there
So what else could I do
Except stand and stare

It was only a brief delight
Which I thought would suffice
She smiled and shook her head
As she saw me say “very nice”
Then she rode up the road
But was back in a trice

PRETTY GIRL ON A BICYCLE # 4

Pretty Girl on a bicycle
In a low cut top
Whose baps almost popped out
I didn’t think they’d stop

She saw me looking
Smiled and shook her head
I smiled back, gave a shrug
To say “enough said”

The Natural World

WHEN THE WIND IS IN THE EAST

When the wind is in the east,
Is the time I like the least
When the wind is in the east,
Then winter has been unleashed

WHEN MOTHER NATURE DONS

When Mother Nature dons
Her spring gown of splendour
She decorates with beauties
Normally reserved for heaven
And bestows upon the earth
Those perfect gifts from God

DAYS OUT ON THE WATER

Days out on the water
Windswept with rime
Watery sunshine above a
Putty coloured sea
As I sailed the estuary
With dad at the helm

WHEN THE WIND IS IN THE NORTH

When the wind is in the north,
It blows me back and forth
When the wind is in the north,
I stay indoors thenceforth

THE FIERCE AUTUMN GALES

The fierce autumn gales
Howl all through the night
Whipping up the seas
And turning wave tops white
The pour souls at sea
On the dark autumnal night
In the teeth of the tempest
Feel its savage bite
And pray to their gods
To save them from their plight
As the gale blows through
On the dark autumnal night

THE SKIES OF ENDLESS AZURE

The skies of endless azure
Stretch to the distant horizon
And in fond embrace they kiss
The iridescent blue ocean

WHEN THE WIND IS IN THE SOUTH

When the wind is in the south,
And the sun is in the sky
This is the time I like most well
And my spirits are very high

RICH TROPICAL SCENTS FILL THE AIR

Rich tropical scents fill the air
And are carried on the breeze
As the waters of the pacific
Lap at the sands of perfect white

THE SCENTED TROPICAL BREEZE

The scented tropical breeze
Blows offshore, gently
Carrying exotic fragrances
Of paradise out to sea

WHEN THE WIND IS IN THE WEST

When the wind is in the west,
Is the time I like the best
When the wind is in the west,
I know I can shed my vest

Variety

IN THE QUIET MOMENTS

In the quiet moments
I can’t remember my fathers face
I try and try but it escapes me
It seems to shift in my minds eye
Snippets of familiarity
Many facets blurring into one
Almost pixelated image
Until now I’ve never understood why
Its because in my memory
He had more than one face
There was the proud father face
The joyful Christmas morning face
The grumpy morning after face
The scolding face
The smiling face
The sad face
And for each of these faces
As we both grew older
There were age groups
He had to many faces to remember just one
So now when I want to see his face
I think of a situation and there he is
SHORT IN STATURE

Short in stature
Tall in stories
Short in grace
Long in charm
Slow in speech
Quick in boast
High in pride
Low in humility
Quick to brag
Slow in denial
Quick to arrive
Slow to leave
Slow to enamour
Quick to bore
Slow on the uptake
Quick out the door
PATRON SAINTS DAYS

St Patrick’s day
Is celebrated every where
“I’m Irish and I’m proud”
They loudly declare

The media never hesitate
To show the people celebrate

Endless Displays of flags and emblems
Accompany patriotic anthems

St Andrew’s day,
Wearing thistle bold,
Is marked with Scottish pride
By young and old

The media never hesitate
To show the people celebrate

Endless Displays of flags and emblems
Accompany patriotic anthems

St David’s day
Resplendent with daffodil
Is marked more soberly
Yet is celebrated still

The media never hesitate
To show the people celebrate

Endless Displays of flags and emblems
Accompany patriotic anthems

St George’s day
Comes and goes
When is it marked?
Nobody knows

The media never hesitate
To ignore attempts to celebrate

With no displays of flags and emblems
Accompanying un-played patriotic anthems

ST GEORGES DAY

Don’t bang the drum
Don’t raise a cheer
The liberals might hear
St George’s day
Must pass unnoticed
Uncelebrated
Unheeded
St George
Must remain
Unheralded
No fanfare
No flags unfurled
Lest we fall foul
Of patriotism
Or jingoism
There must be
No displays
Of Patriotic fervour
Or English pride
We must play it down
Let it pass
Lest we offend
After all this is England

LIKENED TO MY DAD

All my life, I’ve been
Likened to my Dad
A chip off the old block
Birds of a feather
Two sides of the same coin
And just the other day
I was asked
How are you different to your Dad?
I replied that I hoped
In as fewer ways as possible

Spiritual # 2

THE GOOD BOOK

The good book
A trusty tome
Full of comfort and succour
Hope and salvation
A reliable companion
A stalwart in adversity
A true bestseller
Sometimes contentious
Often misquoted
Frequently misused,
The devout and the atheist
Quote in equal measure
From its voluminous pages
They scour and pillage
Cherry picked passages
To support a particular stance
At times it can even satisfy
Both sides of the same argument
Inclusive and accessible to all
In the right hands
It illuminates and empowers
In the wrong hands
It divides and imposes
The bible in truth
Is full of ambiguities
And numerous contradictions
But most important of all
It contains essential truths

I DIDN’T SAY WHY ME?

When I was first diagnosed
I didn’t say why me?
I didn’t blame God
I didn’t curse him
Or hate him
Or ask the question
Why me Lord?
All my life
I have been blessed
And when good things
Happened in my life
I didn’t say “why me?”

I HAVE ALWAYS HAD FAITH

I have always had faith
An unaccountable
Unshakable faith
But only in God
My faith in him
Was a constant
The only constant
In an uncertain world

It was the Church
I had no truck with
My faith did not extend
To the institution
Of the Church
Or its instruments
Its rituals and
Mechanisms of control

I have no issue with
The Church family
Well meaning folk
One and all
Doing the great things
And the small with equal relish
They are just not for me

I chose to worship alone
Just me and my God
My Church was a quiet wood
My Cathedral a hill top

So to stand before the cross
In the old Chapel
Was a departure for me
A departure from the norm
But exceptional circumstances
Called for exceptional measures
It was an old place
An ancient place
A powerful place
A conduit to God
To amplify my faith

So I fell to my knees
In the ancient chapel
Humbling myself
Before my God
And I prayed

THE CHOIRS OF HEAVENLY HOSTS

The Choirs of Heavenly hosts
The angels, Archangels
Principalities and Authorities
The Virtues, Dominions,
Thrones or Orphanim
The Cherubim and Seraphim
The Holy Spirit
My lord Jesus Christ
And the Heavenly Father
Protect me all my days

The Love Selection # 10

WHEN THE SUMMER EVENING FALLS

When the summer evening falls
The melodic nightingale calls
This is also the lover’s time
And the perpetrators of crime
Then at the passing of the night
Lovers take cover criminals take flight

SILVER MOON ABOVE MOUNTAIN BLUE

Silver moon above mountain blue
Is there another looking at you?
Shooting star flashing across the sky
Is there another asking you why?
It is my love wishing on that star
I will find you wherever you are

I WANTED HER TO STAY IN MY ARMS

I wanted her
To stay in my arms
To be my girl for ever
But her feelings for me
Evaporated like mist
In the heat of the sun
Leaving only shadowy memories
Of passions passed
And i am alone
Unable to cry the tears
I just keep asking why
But in the hollow void
Of my empty heart
Only silence echo’s

SKIPPING STONES ACROSS THE BLUE

Skipping stones across the blue
Sharing holiday laughter and fun
When amidst the joyful splashing
It hit me like a bullet from a gun
Why was I playing childish games?
With a girl who was built to stun
So I looked at her and smiled
Took her hand and called her Hon
Then we walked barefoot in the surf
Holding hands beneath the sun
On a day neither of us would forget
When our first love had begun

IT HAPPENS AGAIN AND AGAIN # 2

It happens again and again
A simple smile and I dare to chance
That this might be the one
But alas no it’s a familiar dance

WHEN THE BURNING SUN SINKS LOW

When the burning sun sinks low
Setting the western sky aglow
And the evening shadows grow
This is the time of the amorous beau

A Humourous Selection # 22

HOW OLD WAS YOUR HUSBAND?

“How old was your husband?”
Asked the undertaker
“He was “96,” she replied
“I’m two years older”

“Wow! So you’re 98
That’s amazing Mrs Boone”
Then he continued
“I will see you again quite soon”

ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT I SAID

On our wedding night
I said to my new wife
I’m going ruin you
I’ll suck the life
Out of your lovely tits
And shag your brains out
Fifty years later
I’d say that was a good shout

TWO MEN WERE TALKING IN A BAR

Two men were talking in a bar
One man asked the other one
“Do you ever look at your wife’s face?
When you’re giving her one”

“I did once and saw the anger in her face
It made me shrivel up down below”
“Why anger?” Asked the other man
“Because she was watching through the window”

MUM YOU HAVE TO HELP ME

“Mum, Mum you have to help me,
My husband Billy
He’s running around the house
Screaming hysterically
With blood dripping out of him
And I can see his brain”
“Ok don’t panic, take a deep breath
And then shoot him again”

A MAN AND WOMAN WERE TALKING

A man and woman were talking
When the man asked her a question
“You know men have many terms
For the act of male masturbation?
A hand shandy, choking the chicken
A knuckle shuffle, Jerking off
Beating the meat, having a tug
Bashing the bishop, Jacking off
Glopping or pulling the pudding
Knocking one out, having a wank
Performing an organ solo
Or giving the monkey a spank”
“Well that’s because men are pigs”
She replied in a disgusted scoff
So what do women call female masturbation
She replied, “Finishing off”

HI, I’M JOHN

“Hi, I’m John” the caller said
“Am I speaking with Donnie?”
He was a call center dude
The original foreign Johnny

ONE MONDAY MORNING TWO GUYS

One Monday morning two guys
Were talking in the coffee room
One had that Monday morning feeling
The other had no such gloom

“What are you so happy about?”
The misery asked his friend
“Well as a matter of fact I had
The most fantastic weekend”

“You know I live by the railway?
Well on my way home Friday night
I noticed a girl tied to the tracks
At first it gave me a bit of a fright”

“But I rescued the damsel in distress
Just like a Hollywood movie hero
And took her back to my place
Where one thing led to another you know”

“And we made love all weekend
In every position you can name
In every room, we did the lot
Then we did it all over again”

“That’s what I’m so happy about?”
“You lucky swine” his friend said
“Was she pretty, was she a looker”?
“I don’t know I never found her head”

I ASKED MY BROTHER WHY HE WAS SO FAT

I asked my brother why he was so fat
I think perhaps that was a mistake
Because he said, “every time I shag your wife
She gives me a slice of cake

THE MOMENT I ENTERED HER

The moment I entered her
I felt reasonable sure
I’d either just broken her hymen
Or she still had her tights on

THREE CHILDREN SLIDING ON THE ICE

Three children sliding on the ice
Fell on their bottoms once or twice
Three children sliding on the ice
How they enjoyed the slippery device
Until based on health and safety advice
The caretaker ruined it in a trice

WHEN THE CHILDREN WERE YOUNG

When the children were young
They just gave me a headache
Now that they’re older
They are more of a heartache

GIVE A MAN A FISH

Give a man a fish
And you’ll feed him for a day
Teach him to use the Net
And he’ll order a takeaway

A Humourous Selection # 21

SCRATCH GOLFER

I am a scratch golfer
And what that means my lad
Is I write down all my good scores
And scratch out the bad

POLISH EYE TEST

A Polish man went to the optician
He’d not had an eye test before
The optician pointed and said
"Can you read the card on the door?"
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied
“That’s the name of my brother in law”

I WAS ASKED THE OTHER DAY

I was asked the other day
If i knew of a divine ruler
I said no but I did have
A rather sweet tape measure

NEWS FLASH

News flash:
Wrinkles don't hurt.
That’s the buzz
It’s knowing that
You have them
That does

OCTOGENARIAN CUDDLE

Eighty-year-old Ada
Said to husband Hugh
Cuddle up to me
Like you used to do

So he did and she said
“That’s lovely dear”
Then she said to him
“Now nibble my ear”

And he got out of bed
"Where are you goin’?"
She asked her husband
"To put me teeth back in!"

ON THE TITANIC

The most popular drink on the Titanic
Was not served with a lemon slice
Nor with an olive or a soda splash
It was simply served with lots of ice

ON THE CONCORDIA

The most popular drink on the Concordia
As it was approaching the docks
You might be surprised to know
Was served on the rocks

THERE’S LIFE IN THIS OLD DOG YET

There’s life in this old dog yet
I don’t even think about my age
Once a week me and my friends
Go out and paint the town beige

GREAT DEPRESSION

I have been diagnosed with depression
But I won’t let it beat me
I have been on the Internet
And I’ve found the treatment for me
It’s the 18 step plan
And I start on the first tee

YEARS AGO I BOUGHT A CAR

Years ago I bought a car
Second hand, not new
It was a Chrysler Alpine
In Metallic electric blue
Top of the line
With head light washer wipers
Velour upholstery
All round Electric winders
It was a lovely thing
Oozing aesthetic beauty
So naturally I coughed up
All of my hard earned booty
That was when I found out
I’d dropped a clanger
My lovely luxury car
Was in fact an old banger
It should have taught me
A lesson about life
But I made the same mistake
When I married my wife

A Humourous Selection # 20

CALL CENTER MODE EVEN MORE

One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her

"Hello how can I help you?"
Said the tech support guy
“I’m trying to write my first email”
Was Bimbettes reply

“Ok?” Said the tech support guy
“Well, I have the 'a' in the address ok
But I can’t get the circle around it
And I’ve been trying all day”

WHEN YOU’VE FOUND YOUR PERFECT OTHER

When you’ve found your perfect other
Don’t allow yourself to be hesitative
And don’t judge the woman you love
By the disposition of her relatives

WHEN YOU ARE DROWNING

When you are drowning
In a sea of despair
Swamped by poverty
Weighted down by apathy
No one is going to pull you out
Unless you reach up a hand

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT DOUBT

She is beautiful without doubt
But the one thing I cannot tell
Is whether she has more sense
Than just her sense of smell

COME AND FEEL SOMETHING SURPRISING

Come and feel something surprising
Its throbbing fit to burst
Well I did mean feel my pulse
But we can certainly start there first

YOU’RE NO LONGER ABLE TO BRAG

You’re no longer able to brag
About being a lean piece of scrag
Now your looks have started to flag
And your bits have started to sag
Now your arse has started to drag
You’ve turned into an old bag

GIVE ME A RIGOROUS EXAM

Give me a rigorous exam
Oh won’t you please nurse Pam
You can be a rough Madam
Poke me and prod me, then wham
You can take me as I am
Or you can cover me in jam
I don’t give a damn
As long as I get nurse Pam

I WAS DRIVING ALONG THE DUAL CARRIAGEWAY

I was driving along the dual carriageway
When my boss phoned me
And told me I was being promoted
It came out of the blue and surprised me
It came as such a shock
That I swerved the car quite violently

A little further along the dual carriageway
And my boss phoned me again
And told me along with the promotion
Came a very nice financial gain
It came as such a shock
That I swerved the car violently again

A little further along the dual carriageway
And my boss phoned to tell me
And told me along with the promotion
Came the executive washroom key
It came as such a shock
That I again swerved the car violently

My boss phoned further down the carriageway
And I answered in hands free mode
And told me along with the promotion
I was to receive the penthouse code
It came as such a shock
I swerved and careered off the road

DRUNK DRIVING

He was driving home,
Shit faced drunk
Pissed as a cricket
Drunk as a skunk

Suddenly he swerved
To avoid a tree,
Then another, then another.
Then another tree

The police stopped him
For driving erratically
“Having a little trouble”?
The cop asked sarcastically

The drunk told the cop
About the trees everywhere
The cop just pointed
To the air freshener hanging there

LAZARUS PILL # 2

I have pills to slow me down
And more to perk me up
I have one that helps me sleep
And one that helps me tup

A Humourous Selection # 19

CUPID’S LAST HURRAH

I’m waiting for cupid’s last hurrah
To feel once more his arrowed sting
One last lighting bolt
From the heavens
Signalling one last chance of true love
A final breath of wind
Blown onto passions dying embers

TEMPERAMENTAL

Your temperament is no cause for alarm
At the end of the day no foul no harm
Being a crabby bitch is just part of your charm

LESBIAN CARPENTER

My sister has an unusual trade,
She is a lesbian carpenter
There are certain criteria
Which really seem to suit her
No male / female joining
No screwing required
No nuts or penetrative bolts
Only tongue and groove is desired

SHOT WITH A STARTING PISTOL

A man living in Bristol
Has been shot with a starting pistol;
The police have now stated
That it's definitely race related.

DO YOU NEED A BAG

A man said to the chemist
"Give me three packets of condoms miss."
She replied, "Do you need a bag, sir?"
He said, “No she’s quite a looker”

FISHY BLONDE

Bimbette took her goldfish to the vet
"I think it's got epilepsy" Bimbette said.
The Vet took a good long look
Then stood scratching his head

"It seems calm enough to me".
Said the puzzled vet,
Bimbette replied
"I haven't taken it out of the water yet".

BLONDE POST

The letterbox rattled
As the post came through the door
One after another
They landed on the floor

The top most envelope
Was from Bimbette’s friend
But emblazoned on it
Were the words "DO NOT BEND"

Bimbette pondered for some time
About that piece of post
How was she to pick it up?
Puzzled her most

BIMBETTES LOST DOG

Bimbette lost her dog
And she was distraught
Peaches, to cheer her up
Said I think you ought
To advertise in the paper
Just give it a whirl
So she wrote the ad
“Come here girl”

SLEEPLESS NIGHT

I lay in bed quite restless
In a measure of distress
Uncomfortable in my nightdress
And I started to obsess

Why was the sun an absentee?
Then quite suddenly
At half past three
It dawned on me

ALPINE QUERY

“Dad, Dad where are the Alps”?
“I’m sorry son I cannot say
Ask your mother she’s the one
Who tidies all the stuff away”?

A Humourous Selection # 18

ALIMONY VENDOR

A sign on the vending machine read
This machine takes all your money
And gives nothing in return
I thought not unlike my ex wife, Honey

PUBLIC INFORMATION MESSAGE

This is a public information message
The information is for everyone
Kindly heed this important warning
If you wish to heat or cook a bun

Using the microwave and the toaster
Simultaneously must not be done
It could throw the earth out of orbit
And send us crashing into the sun

SELF-MEDICATING

There is a pill, that I take a lot
I take it when I don’t feel so hot
I knew the name but then I forgot
And the nameless pill I take a lot
Tells me I'm happy when I'm not

THE ANNUAL AFFLICTION

They make my eyes itch
They make me sneeze
They make me cough
They make me wheeze
They make me choke
They make me seize
Give me a cure
Oh won’t you please
Free me from
These allergies

LAZARUS PILL # 1

There is a pill that I have to take
For recreation the doctor said
It’s a very special little blue pill
And I use it to raise up the dead

KILLER PILL

I was given from the dispensary
After my surgery
By a doctor so proficient
A tablet so efficient
That it dislocates your brain
So you really feel no pain

PILL POPPER # 1

Red and yellow and
Pink and Green
Purple and orange and blue

I take pills akimbo
Pills akimbo
I take quite a few

PILL POPPER # 2

I have to take so many pills
To cure my numerous ills
And for me they go to battle
But I’m afraid I’ll start to rattle

MY HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

As I stood on my drive
I saw cracking little lass
Bend over on the footpath
Showing me her ass

My high blood pressure
Went up even more
Then my pacemaker
Opened the garage door

FEEL YOUR AGE

You know I still feel
"Young at heart"
But considerably older
In every other part

JUST A DASH

Pour me a Scotch Whisky
With only two drops of water
Please can you do that for me?
My dearest daughter
For at my age I can hold my liquor
But I can’t hold my water

ADOPT A WILD CAT

They want me to adopt a wild cat
Which is quite absurd
Where on earth am I going to keep
A fully-grown Leopard?

HE CAME IN THE NIGHT

He came in the night
The consummate thief
The taker of souls
Stealer of the cherished
Inhabitor of shadows
Blackness draping him
Like the night itself
The grim reaper
The snuffer of candles
The snatcher of life
The author of my grief

DEATH CAME AS NO SURPRISE

Death came as no surprise
So I cannot understand why
I am full to over flowing
With tears I cannot cry

A Humourous Selection # 17

THE STUFF OF DREAMS

Let me say this from the start
You’re a lovely bit of stuff
I say this in all sincerity
You’re a gorgeous piece of fluff
I can’t emphasize this enough
You are truly cute and buff
What I wouldn’t freely give
To spy you in the buff
And what I wouldn’t do
For a glimpse of your chuff
Just to see if there is parity
Between collar and cuff

CALL CENTER MODE YET AGAIN

One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her

"Hello how can I help you?"
The tech support guy said
Bimbette replied to him
“I have a problem printing in red”
He asked, “Do you have a colour printer”?
Then the line went dead

INCONSIDERATE NEIGHBOURS

At 3am there was a knock at the door
It was my neighbour, the cheeky little strumpet
3 o’clock in the morning, can you believe that?
Having the door knocked by some bit of crumpet
All I can say is that it was lucky for the little madam
I was still up playing my trumpet

MATRIMONIAL BEQUEST

He called out to his wife
As he sat watching TV
"When I die I’m going to leave
Everything to you sweety!"
She shouted back,
"You already do, you lazy B"

OUT OF MY LEAGUE # 2

Though not the type
To put it about
She was a looker
Without a doubt
It’s a shame
I’m not in with a shout
I’ll just go home
And knock one out

MY MISSING WIFE

My wife has been missing for a week
The Police haven’t found her yet
They told me to prepare for the worst
So I've put all her clothes back in the closet

DYNAMITE BLONDE

The body builder took off his vest
And Bimbette said, "What a Great chest
it’s because of all the exercising maybe”
He said, ‘That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'

The body builder took off his trousers
And Bimbette said “Oh wowsers
What great legs you have, strong like iron!”
He said, “That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, Hon”'

The body builder took off his shorts
But instead of complimentary retorts
Bimbette ran away screaming in fear
“I’m getting the hell out of here”

He quickly got dressed and followed on
And earnestly asked her what was wrong
“I got afraid of all that dynamite because
When I saw how short the fuse was!”

HOMEOPATHIC HUMOUR

I told a joke about alternative medicine
And it only raised a smirk
That’s the problem with Homeopathic humour
It doesn’t really work

WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GUY

My wife and I walked passed,
A very posh restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible?"
She said and she was quite right

Being something of thoughtful man
I mused as we walked along the street
“Oh what the hell she deserves it”
So I walked her passed again as a treat

SHIRK ETHIC

I’m not possessed of the work ethic
But I don’t mind going there
However the eight-hour wait
To go home is a real nightmare

A Humourous Selection # 16

FEMININE CONUNDRUM # 2

How is it that women can go through childbirth?
With all its inherent agony
Yet manage to scare themselves to death
At the sight of a dust bunny

REFRESHING SUPPORT

My wife left the house last week
For a pint of milk and never came back
Everyone keeps asking how I’m coping
But I used the powdered or had it black

CRASH PROCEDURE

As the 747 was falling
Uncontrollably from the sky
A female passenger ripped off her clothes
And began to cry
“Can someone make me feel like a real woman?
Before I die”?
A man stood up and took off his shirt
“Here iron this,” said the guy

I’M A FREE AGENT ONCE AGAIN

I’m a free agent once again
Since I broke up with my optician girlfriend
She was very nice but to be honest
It was our sex life in the end
That broke up our bliss
She kept saying “is it better like this or this”?

BLONDE BIRD

Peaches suddenly said
“Look at the dead bird there”
Bimbette at once looked up
And said “where”?

BLONDE NITWIT

A traffic cop saw Bimbette knitting while driving
And couldn’t believe his eyes at all
He angrily shouted at her “Pull over, pull over”
She shouted back “no, it’s a shawl”

CALL CENTER MODE AGAIN

One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her

"Hello how can I help you?"
The tech support guy asks
She replied, “I can’t get my computer
To do even the simplest tasks"

“Ok” said the tech support guy
“What's on your monitor now, miss?
“An elephant my boyfriend bought me
And a kangaroo called Kriss”

MODERN AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING

Conceived by savants
Designed by computers
Precision Built by robots
And driven by commuters

FLIRT IN A SKIRT

Everything limber
Everything pert
The quivering flesh
In a well filled shirt
The flattering flutter
Of a pleated skirt
The coquettish look
Of an obvious flirt

OUT OF MY LEAGUE # 1

Long slender legs
That caught the eye
Atop a stockined limb
A glimpse of thigh
A hint of lace
As she passes by
And a look that says
“Don’t even try”

Olympic Humour 2012

LONDON 2012 # 1

After seven long years
Of blood sweat and tears
The games can commence
And that test of human endurance
Can come to an end
As we abandon that trend
That has made us all cringe
The seven-year Olympic whinge

A GYMNAST AND A POLE DANCER

A gymnast and a pole dancer
Both skilled and both work hard
The only difference between them
It seems to me is a leotard
LONDON 2012 # 2

Alas I was in error
There is no end to the terror
Alas I was sadly wrong
The Olympic whinge goes on

BEACH VOLLEYBALL

I love the girl’s Beach Volleyball
I’m really very keen
It’s not like a proper beach though
For a start it’s just to clean
No cigarette ends or beer cans
And not a used condom to be seen

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS

I love the Olympics
And now it’s on home soil
It gives us an opportunity
As our competitors toil

To see them taking part
In events of this and that
Of seeing all the many sports
The team GB are so awful at

THE MCCARTNEY TRIALS 2012

I enjoyed the Jubilee concert
It was a wonderful night
I thought the opening ceremony
For the games was just right

But before any other major events
I want to know one thing
When is someone going to tell sir Paul?
That he can’t bloody sing

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 16) Georgian Bathroom

I felt suitably refreshed after having two showers in fairly close order either side of the lovely Miss Gomez’s display of versatility by giving a fine oral performance on my instrument.
Despite the rather lengthy ablutions and the felatio I got to the Gregory house about ten minutes ahead of schedule to find Geoffrey, Georgie’s dad, had started loading the car without me and Georgia hadn’t arrived home from work yet.
“Hold on Geoff, you should have waited for me”
"Hello Simon" he said "I just thought I’d make a start as Georgia’s running late"
"Come on then I'll give you a hand"
We had it all loaded and were sitting in the kitchen by the time Georgia got home.
"Sorry I’m late" She said "The Snipe was being a right pain in the arse"
"The Snipe" she was referring to was Agnes Snipe, Georgia’s boss at the Golf club.
"Don’t worry darling" Geoff said "Simon and I have the car loaded"
"Really?" She said "my heroes" and kissed us both.
She then joined us in a cuppa before going to get changed she was only gone about half an hour and when she came back she was wearing a short denim skirt and a pale blue short sleeved shirt, low cut to show off her lovely tits, and not forgetting blue and white ankle socks.
Her bobbed brunette hair was still wet from the shower and left damp splodges on the shoulders of her top.
"Do you want something to eat" Laura asked, Laura was Georgia’s mum
"No thanks mum" she answered "We're eating there"
She looked up at the clock then turned to me and said
"We need to get going"

The fact we were an hour late leaving didn’t hamper us in any way in fact because the traffic was lighter we got to the house only ten minutes later than we had originally planned.
They were just taking dinner orders as we arrived so I let Georgia choose and I started unloading the car.
It was slightly harder work getting it out of the car and into her room than it was getting it loaded back at her house.
Still a couple of the other lads lent a hand and it was soon done and with perfect timing just as I closed the boot down the pizzas arrived.
Georgia and I took the last two remaining places in the lounge, which were in the window.

There were nineteen people sitting in the lounge drinking wine and eating pizza, not my favourite fast food I have to say, of which I was the oldest by almost a decade
There were the six housemates and partners plus an assortment of friends,
It wasn’t a bad sized room with three large sofas in it but it was never intended to accommodate nineteen people.
Georgia and I were seated on the deep windowsill in the bay window.
With a gap of about two feet between us and the back of one of the sofas.
This afforded me a great view down the tops of two girls seated on the sofa one of the was a skinny braless girl with tits like roof tillers nail bags while the other had a fine pair contained in a green lacy number about two sizes two small and definitely not up to the job.
The cups were so small that both areolas were clearly visible above the line of green lace.
Georgia suddenly slapped my thigh
“Are you looking at my friends tits?”
She whispered in my ear, I’m not sure why she whispered it; the room was so noisy she could have used a bullhorn and no one would have overheard her.
“Yes of course, what a stupid question” I replied above a whisper
“You’re a dirty bastard,” she said laughing
Then she put her hand on my lap and started stroking my sleeping soldier who was already half awake.
“Already?” she asked wide-eyed
I shrugged nonchalantly, and she continued stroking.
A few minutes later Amy, the girl with the big tits and the small bra, turned round and spoke.
“Here George look at this”
Georgia leant over the sofa between Amy and the scraggy titted girl looking at something on Amy’s Blackberry.
They were all three of them laughing as I slid my hand up Georgie’s skirt and she didn’t bat an eye lid, not even when I pulled her knickers off her buttocks and half way down her thighs, nor again when I fondled her cheeks.
Only a few moments after my fingers parted her lips did she call a halt to my mischief and sit back down.
Then she smiled a saucy smile at me and took her knickers all the way off before stuffing them in my trouser pocket.
“I don’t think I’m going to be needing them” she said and placed my hand between her knees.
We were seated in the perfect place for our purposes. We could see everyone else but they couldn’t see anything of us below the chest, unless they were stood directly facing us and if anyone did that we would stop.
While my hand slid purposefully between her thighs, hers had now returned to my growing erection and she stroked my cock through my shorts.
As my hand neared its destination I felt the hair of her bush brushing the skin on the back of my hand.
Then my fingers homed in on her pussy, when she was standing bent over the sofa she was deliciously moist too my touch but when I returned to the seat of her moistness I found her creamily wet and she let out a little gasp as my finger went in her. No one heard it; it was still far too noisy in the room.
But I couldn’t take her too far because even with the decibel level as high as it was in that place, they would certainly here miss Gregory come.

It was just when I was getting her well lathered up that the lights suddenly went on and the music stopped and some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to raise a toast to there new abode.
Georgia tutted and pulled me out of her and closed her thighs tight.
“Cheers” she said smiling falsely.
The moment the chinking of glasses was over Georgia was on her feet saying
"Come and give me a hand with those boxes then"
Now its all very well when you’re a woman and the fun has to stop, because when leaving the room she merely has to contend with sticky thighs.
I had my shorts filled with a huge boner, standing up was difficult and painful and so was walking, but the main problem was concealment.
Behind the sofa it went unseen in a crowded room it was almost another person.
I tapped Georgia on the shoulder
"What?" she said impatiently
I indicated my predicament with my eyes and she looked down and smiled.
She then picked up our empty pizza box and put it in front of my bulging shorts.
"Can we go now?" she said sarcastically
I nodded and then gingerly followed her out of the room.
Once in the hallway I dispensed with the pizza box and pursued her up the stairs she was unhindered by a swollen organ so was taking the stairs two at a time, my progress was a good deal slower and when I reached her room she was removing her bra through her shirt sleeve, I loved it when women did that, having already removed her skirt and
She was standing in the room her nipples pushing proudly through the fabric of her top and her lush brown bush clearly on display.
“Come here” she beckoned “let me make you more comfortable”
Making me more comfortable involved her undoing my shorts and yanking my cock out and playing with it.
“You’re very eager miss Gregory” I said and kissed her
“I’m not going to see you until Sunday” she said
“Its only two days” I was playing with her tits now teasing her nipple through the fabric
“Exactly that’s why I need it now”
“What are you going to do when Uni starts?” I asked
“You’re not the only one with a wankbank you know” she said
If I hadn’t been rock hard by then that would have done it.
“I want you so bad” Georgia begged as she pulled of my shirt.
“There’s no room on the bed” I pointed out
“You didn’t need a bed the first time you forced yourself on me”
“I don’t remember needing to be particularly forceful,” I reminded her
“Oh Simon Please, don’t stop” I mimicked
“Just shut up and fuck me”
I looked around the room and there really wasn’t anywhere.
We looked at each other
“Bathroom” we said in unison
We quietly open the door and crossed the landing Georgia first, wearing her blue top, ankle socks and showing off her very hairy bush
I followed wearing sports socks but my cock beat me there by a short head.
Once inside I bolted the door and sat her on the shelf and positioned her just the way I did the first time I penetrated her tight cunny.
I pulled her top off over her head and played with her tits as she steered my cock towards her pussy and rubbed my knob between her wet lips then she left it poised, I twitched my shaft and my head danced lightly around her hole, the she grasped my buttocks digging her nails into the flesh and pulled me into her
“Oh Simon” she moaned
Being inside her was like wearing a liquid velvet sheath
She was so hot and she was so creamy it was like bathing my shaft in warm treacle.
As I pumped into her she let out deep rasping moans
“Simon, Simon” she panted
Then her breaths became coarser and her moans deeper
Her thighs were holding my hips like a vice and her ankles were crossed beneath my buttocks and holding my inside her.
I could only give her short measured stroked but with each one
“Oh”
Another
“Oh”
Another
“Oh”
Again
“Ohh”
Again
“Ohhh”
Just one more stroke
“Ohhhhhhhhh” and she came and I followed
Then she kissed me
“God Simon it just keeps getting better”
“It was ok then?” I panted
“You know damn well it was cocky”
We stayed conjoined for a few minutes as she milked every last drop from me.
Before we had to cross the landing back to the room almost naked looking quite rightly like we’d been shagging in the bathroom.
Luckily no one saw us but we were definitely overheard judging my some of the looks we got as we were leaving.

When I got back to the Gregory’s it was quite late so I was planning to just park the car and pop the keys through the letter box.
But just as I was about to post the keys through the door opened, it was Geoffrey.
“Ah Hello Simon I thought I heard the car door” he said
“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said apologetically
“No I hadn’t turned in yet come in for a nightcap and tell us the tale”
So I spent the next half an hour telling him about the house and her friends, which was a quite uncomfortable experience for me, on one hand because I didn’t know how much Georgia would want me to tell them about her student life while on the other because inside my sticky underwear some of my pubic hair was stuck to my thigh.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 15) See Emily Play

had been a most unproductive Friday and I was not in the best of moods.
I had been on the phone all morning, not one of my favourite activities, firstly I had a very long winded call from my agent about a literary dinner in Swindon, which was now only a few days away, he thought I should attend as I was nominated in two categories, I had decided just to ignore it as it was in Swindon.
I wasn’t keen at all and I normally only accepted those kinds of invitations in order to facilitate a night of carnal debauchery with Claire Andrews, also known as Dr Lazarus.
So I declined, my agent insisted, I declined again, he insisted again, I declined more emphatically, he insisted more forcefully,
Eventually and with great reluctance I agreed if for no other reason than to get him off the phone.
I then called Claire to see if she was available to disgrace her self in my company once again this time in Swindon.
At first she was up for it but as it was only a few days away so she had to decline, basically in Rugby parlance she had to "declare a blood injury" so that was that.
Then I called my cousin Molly, always good company and always a good shag,
Strike two, she was on nights for the next week.
Georgia was working that night; Pandora had to look after the kids and so on and so fourth.
So not only did I have to go to Swindon and rub shoulders with a bunch of self obsessed writers I now had to stay over night without one of my favourite bed warmers.

So it was late afternoon when I decided it was time to shower and get ready for my date with Georgia, well I say date it was more of a mission.
She would be returning to University at Roehampton in a few weeks time for her final year.
And Georgia and a bunch of friends had rented an old Victorian house and I was helping her move her stuff in.
Under normal circumstances they would have moved in at the beginning of July but the week before their tenancy began the water tank in the loft sprang a leak and brought down the ceiling and made quite a mess.
So the occupancy had been delayed while the repairs were being done, now that they were complete the whole group were moving their stuff in.
They did have the option to renew their tenancy in the house they were in the previous year but it had turned out to be a bit of a slum.
I was going to walk up to Georgia’s when she finished work so we could load all her stuff into the Gregory’s Peugeot estate.
We would then unload her stuff into her room, have a take away with her friends then I would leave her up there to unpack her stuff and drive the car back to Bushy Down and then she would come back by train on Sunday morning.
All of her friends were staying in the house until term began but Georgia needed to work at the club until the very last minute to earn as much cash as possible.
I had no idea what to wear to sit and socialize with students a decade younger than I.
I was still pondering this conundrum when there was a knock on the French window.

When I looked I couldn’t see anyone at first but on closer perusal I could see it was Emily Gomez.
Emily was wearing knee length blue shorts, tight like leggings and a kind of short floral summer dress, scooped down at the front, fitted at the waist and just about long enough to cover her bum.
“Hello hon” I said opening the door
“Where’s your buddy?”
Her “buddy” was Jenny Smithson her best friend.
Inseparable since kindergarten, a perfect friendship, they complimented each other.
Although there were similarities, they were both beauties for a start, their likes and dislikes, sense of humour but really as individuals they couldn’t be more different.
Emily was dark and dusky and had no fear Jenny was pale and freckly and would tremble in shadows.
Emily was an extrovert, precocious, a real Lolita.
She's very confident, self-assured, and pretty and she knew it though not in a cocky way.
Jenny on the other hand, though also very pretty, was unsure of it.
She was shy and socially awkward and lacked self-confidence
Being with Emily made Jenny feel more confident, daring to do things she would never do alone, she lived her life on Emily’s coat tails and without Emily she floundered.
“She’s at the dentist,” Emily answered
“Have you come to play”? I asked hopefully
“No such luck” Came the reply
I looked at quizzically
“I’m on the blob,” she said
“So no I’m not here so that you can further sully my beautiful young form”
“That’s a shame” I said “I’m pretty good at sullying”
“Yes you are,” she said wistfully
“So what’s up then?” I asked
“We have the builders in at home and mum doesn’t want me alone in the house with the rough workmen in case I get tainted or have my innocence blemished”
“And she sent you here?”
“Yes ironic isn’t it?” she laughed
What was ironic was that her parents had the builders in and she had the decorators.
It was only a few weeks earlier that I took Emily’s innocence and I had been tainting her on a fairly regular basis ever since.
“Mum said I should come here and she’ll pick me up”
“No problem” I said
“Its only for today, we’re off to Mauritius tomorrow for three weeks”
She said with slightly less enthusiasm that you would expect.
“That’s lovely isn’t it”? I offered
“Yes but I’ll miss all the fun” she said
“Fun” was Emily’s euphemism for cock
Because she was a foot shorter than me I could easily look down her top at her beautiful brown muffins and I longed to play with her chocolate teats.
“Jenny will be lost while you’re away,” I said
“You could keep her entertained,” she suggested
“Alas I think she’s too shy for that” I said regretfully
“She wants too,” Emily said indiscreetly
I thought to myself I would quite like too as well.
Then as if to change the subject she asked
“Could I have a drink?”
“Of course help yourself” I replied, “You know where the glasses are”
The glasses were in the top cupboard and being only five foot one she had to stand on tiptoe to reach and the act of stretching up her arm raised the hem of her skirt to expose the curves of her perfect little cheeks in her skin tight shorts.
When she had retrieved a glass she turned and looked at me.
"Were you staring at my bum?" she asked accusingly
"Of course"
"You’re a terrible letch,” she said
“No I’m actually a very good letch” I corrected her "don’t you like me looking?"
“Of course I do” she said and blushed and then she walked across the kitchen and said before she kissed me
“I like you touching too”
I took the opportunity to grab her tight little arse and cupped a delicious cheek in each hand.
The kiss lasted about a minute and when our lips parted she said
"Shame about the fun"
I was thinking the same thing and at that moment I cursed her curse as my cock swelled in my pants.
I thought that was a good time to leave
“Make yourself a sandwich” I said “I need to jump in the shower”
I had a lovely hot shower in the en suite although a cold one might have been more appropriate as I was sporting a huge erection.
Once out of the shower I realized I only had a hand towel “That’s barely big enough to dry my balls” I thought.
So I dabbed my face dry with it and walked off across the landing to get a bath towel from the airing cupboard, which was just inside the door of the main bathroom.
I walked across the landing and opened the bathroom door stepped through and opened the airing cupboard.
I took out a large fluffy bath towel off the top shelf and closed the door that was when I realized Emily was sat on the toilet.
Leggings and knickers round her knees and Dress hoisted up around her middle her thick black bush clearly visible.
"I'm so sorry Em" I said in a fluster "I just didn’t think"
"I am so, so sorry"
Then I hurried out of the door and back to the sanctuary of my room where I could hide my embarrassment,
I went back into the en suite and dried myself thoroughly and I was surprised to find I still had a substantial stalk on.
When I walked back into my bedroom I found Emily sitting on my bed.
I jumped when I saw her there and I flustered again.
"I really am sorry hon"
"Its ok” she said “I’m not cross, you’ve seen everything I’ve got already"
“That’s not the point” I said
I noticed her eyes were fixed on my cock and wondered what was going through her mind.
Maybe she wanted me to do her in the bathroom while she was blobby.
I hoped she didn’t want anal.
"Is your cock always hard?"
"No only when" and I nearly said when only there was a woman close by but stopped myself just in time. "You’re around"
"It doesn’t do that just for me" and she laughed
“So why is it hard now?” She asked curiously still staring at my erection.
“Dirty thoughts” I said
“Really? What were you thinking about?”
“You of course” I said “I was thinking about making love to you in that bed when you were naked, wriggling and squirming beneath me”
Then she reached out and grabbed hold of it and pulled me towards her then for the first time she took her eyes off my cock and looked at my face as she played with me.
I closed my eyes as she gently tugged on me and then I felt delicate soft kisses on my sensitive knob.
This was a surprise; I hadn’t introduced her to this yet as part of her sexual education.
Then her tongue flicked around my helmet in quick feather light licks.
And all at once in one smooth slurping instant I was in her mouth.
I could feel Emily’s fingers still caressing my shaft lightly and
I looked down just as my glistening wet knob reappeared accompanied by a sucking sound, she looked up and smiled wickedly.
And then she devoured me again with her hot mouth
I could see the bulge of my cock in her cheek as she sucked on me.
Her fingers tightened their grip on my shaft as her demerara lips were slurping around my cock.
“Oh that’s so nice Honey,” I gasped
“Wham whi whoing whit whighk?” Emily mumbled inaudibly
Which I interpreted to mean were her efforts to my satisfaction
“Oh yes Honey”
I would normally at his point be considering the next chapter of the story.
“It’s a shame she’s on the blob” I thought, I could fuck her up the arse but I hadn’t introduced her to that kind of sex and it’s really not my kind of thing anyway.
It would have to either be a titwank or as I was already in her mouth let her suck me off.
I was fast approaching the point of no return and I could tell by the lip smacking and slurping that she had already decided what she wanted to do.
One hand was on the back of her head; fingers threaded amongst her thick black curls while the other caressed her bulging cheek.
Her fingers were gripped tight around the base of my shaft and tugging on me furiously.
Then Emily took one final pause for air before my saliva soaked cock slipped comfortably between her dark lips again.
Her mouth sealed tight around my throbbing cock and snorting through her nose, her mouth joined the busy little fingers in the rhythmic wanking.
I was so close now and Emily could sense it and she was going at me like fury,
So close, so close
“Oh Emily”
My buttocks clenched tight
Closer, closer
“Emily, Emily”
And then my hands are pulling her head onto me as I shoot and her eager lips sucked me dry.
Just then the doorbell rang.
Emily was still grasping me and sucking and licking at the last of my seed.
Then her lips smacked one last time as her lips released my shaft.
“Was that ok”? She asked and kissed my helmet
“Oh yes baby” I said and I kissed her forehead
“And when you get back from Mauritius I am going to give you so much fun your toes will curl”
“Goody” she said with what could only be described as a leer
The doorbell rang again.
I quickly put some clothes on with Emily watching my every move and looking very pleased with herself, which she deserved to do, it wasn’t the best blowjob I’d ever had, but jeez it was close enough.
I grabbed her hand and went downstairs to open the door.
I sent Emily too the kitchen and I opened the door.
“Hello Mrs. Gomez” I said warmly “Emily is in the kitchen”
“Hello Simon, Thank you so much for doing this, she just wouldn’t have been safe with those builders,” she babbled her way through the kitchen door “you know how naïve she is”
Emily was sat at the table an empty plate in from of her and that was when I noticed she had a small dribble of my gentleman’s relish in the corner of her mouth.
“For goodness sake Emily, wipe that salad dressing off your lip darling”
Then to me she said
“I do apologize Simon she has such terrible manners”
Then I said, “I know she talks with her mouth full too”
Emily went bright red as she wiped my cum off her mouth with a tissue.
Mrs. Gomez excused herself and said she would wait in the car.
“You could have told me,” Emily said just as the door closed laughed and punched me.
I made sure that Emily sluiced with mouthwash before I let leave the house.
I didn’t want her going home with penis breath.
Also I wanted to give her a proper goodbye kiss before she went on holiday.
Then I had another shower.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 14) What Maisie Knew

The morning after Georgia’s in car entertainment she had to be up early for work so after briefly spooning her I gave her the benefit of my early riser then she left me in bed, showered and went to work.
My work involved keeping my publisher steadily supplied with bawdy chapters, fortunately I was ahead of the game, so I went back to sleep.
I woke up suitably refreshed at 2.30pm, very decadent I know but there you have it.
I got up from my pit and walked over to the window where I threw open the curtains to let some light in.
However it was such a dark dismal afternoon it made little difference, the rain was absolutely lashing down.
I went and showered then threw on my towelling robe and went downstairs for breakfast well perhaps not breakfast, not even lunch let’s be generous and call it a late lunch.
When I got downstairs I turned on the kitchen light, picked up the kettle and walked to the sink to fill it.
As I looked out through the rain spattered window I could see a figure moving about in the garden.
I couldn’t make out who it was at first, and then I recognized the gawky gangling gate of Maisie Stewart.
I finished filling the kettle and put it back on the counter and flicked the switch.
Then I went to the back door and opened it.
“MAISIE” I shouted
At first she carried on picking up the weeds she had collected.
“MAISIE” I shouted again
This time she stood up and looked in my direction and waved.
She looked like a drowned rat her hair was plastered to her face and her short waterproof coat just served to divert the expelled water down to her dungarees, which were soaked up to the thighs.
“COME HERE” I called to her accompanied by a gesture.
She stopped what she was doing and trotted up the path to the back door.
“Hi Simon” she said her rain soaked face smiling, and then she shivered.
“Come inside, you’ll catch your death”
“Ok” she said, “have you got the kettle on?” She asked as she stepped onto the mat
“What on earth are you doing working in this weather?” I said crossly
“Where’s Frankie? I can’t believe she’s making you work in this”
“Frankie finished for the day” Maisie said “she said it was too wet, and that I should go home”
“So why didn’t you, you silly girl?” I asked squeezing her dungarees until water dripped out.
“I didn’t want to go home”
I realised then just how bad her home life must be if she would rather be outside working on a day like this.
“Right in there” I said and marched her into the utility “no more work today”
I told her to get her coat and boots off and put them on the drainer then I opened the tumble dryer.
I took out the dry towels and a bathrobe; it was the spare one that I kept for my female “guests”
It had been washed and dried because Molly got it more than a little bit spunky on her last visit.
I handed Maisie the clean robe and said
“Take off everything you have on that’s wet, pants as well if necessary, and put them in the tumble dryer then put on the robe and come into the kitchen Ok?”
Maisie nodded. Then I went out and shut the door behind me.
By the time she emerged from the utility I had made soup for us both and taken it through to the lounge where we ate it with bread rolls off trays on our laps.
As we were eating I asked her
“Why didn’t you just shelter in the garage if you didn’t want to go home?”
“I didn’t want to” she said meekly “in case you thought I was trying to steal from you again, after everything you’ve done and all”
“Well just so we’re clear in future you can go in there whenever you want”
“Thanks” she said and shivered
“Talking about jobs, I bumped into India Carrington at the Summer Ball, and she’s asked if you were available”.
“Is she the snooty cow with the horse”? She asked
“Yes” I said “I don’t know what work she has it might be shovelling muck”
“Oh I don’t mind what I do” Maisie said
“Good for you, now go and have a shower and get warmed up, you must be chilled to the bone”
“Simon?”
“Yes”
“Would you mind very much if..”?
“If what?”
“If I had a bath instead, we only have a shower at home”
“Of course you can” I said and smiled
I took her upstairs and showed her to the en suite bathroom in my bedroom, as it had a larger tub and would better accommodate her long gangly legs.
I showed her where the bubble bath and lotions and potions were and I gave her some fresh towels and left her to it.
“Enjoy” I said, “Soak for as long as you like”
“Thanks Simon, for everything”
“What do you mean?”
“Getting me all the jobs and everything, recommending me”
“I believed in you that was all” I said, “You did the rest”
I smiled and closed the door, what she didn’t realise was that my actions in helping her were driven by guilt.
I went down stairs and went to my study and decided to write for a while even though I had met my commitment for the month.
After about half an hour I went into the utility room and checked the contents of the tumble drier.
I had no idea what was in there as Maisie had already loaded it then I merely switched it on.
So firstly I took everything out, socks (still a bit damp) dungarees (still wet) tee-shirt (dry) Knickers, big and blue (dry) and that was it no bra, maybe she kept it on, unlikely I thought more likely she was just copying Frankie as she had the rest of her outfit.
I put the dungarees and socks back in and closed the door to finish them off.
I then took the tee-shirt and the big knickers into the lounge. I had already put her wet boots and jacket by the wood burner to dry and they were steaming happily.
I then draped her tee shirt over the clothes airer in front of the stove, it was dry, and I just wanted her to be able to slip into something warm when she got out of the bath.
Then I prepared to do the same thing with her pants but as I handled the big blue cotton knickers I got that tell tale stir, I was going to say in my own pants but as I wasn’t wearing any so it wasn’t appropriate, neither was the stirring or the accompanying thought that it was I who wanted to slip into something warm.
I dismissed the thought at once, it could never happen, it must never happen.
I had given my best effort, ever since that day I caught her in my garage and came within a hairs breadth of raping her, of helping her and I had helped her, and I planned to carry on helping her.
It was driven by guilt of course, for what I could have done to her but I had no ulterior motive and had, correction have no plans to help myself.
I could have taken her that night by force but I didn’t, I could have had her later that night with her consent but didn’t, even though she offered it to me on a plate.
Despite my countless character flaws and lack of morals I have done the right thing by this girl and now my cock was stirring.
I draped the big blue knickers on the dryer next to the tee-shirt and went back to my study.
It was about half an hour later when she finally came downstairs
“Simon” she called
“I’m in the study,” I answered
The door opened and her mousy mopped head appeared around the door, her face was all pink and shiny.
“I accidently dunked the bath robe in the bath” Maisie said with a giggle “so I borrowed one of your shirts is that ok?”
She stepped from behind the door wearing one of my denim shirts like a dress, she had the sleeves rolled half way up her spindly arms and the shirt tails almost reached her knees, her legs and arms were also pink from her hot bath.
In my shirt she looked even more of a tomboy and with her damp pixie cut hair quite delicious.
I tried to push thoughts of her pinkness from my mind with great difficulty.
“Your tee-shirt and panties are on the dryer in the lounge” I told her
“The rest is still in the dryer”
Then inexplicably I said
“Big knickers?” I said “very sexy”
She thought I was joking
Maisie pink cheeks went red
“Frankie recommended big knickers for freedom of movement” she said before adding
“And because she says you’re a sex maniac”
“That’s a foul slur on my good name” I said indignantly
“That’s not what I’ve heard, you have quite a reputation,” she said
“Anything in a skirt apparently”
I was about to say something wittily diverting when she said
“Except me”
I was about to protest but I did treat her differently to Emily and Jenny
It was wrong with them but I’d already had Emily and Jenny would very soon follow.
“Why don’t you want me?” she said sadly
“I didn’t say I didn’t want you Maisie,” I said “I’ve never said I didn’t want you”
“Then why haven’t you…”?
“That night in the garage I was an inch away from taking you against your will and that’s rape in anybodies language”
“But afterwards when I wanted you to, you wouldn’t” she said tearfully
“Even under those circumstances it would have been wrong”
She turned away crying, I went to hug her and she buried her face in my chest
Then through the tears she asked
“You wanted me though?”
“Yes” I answered her truthfully
“You just didn’t want to take advantage of me?
“That’s right,” I answered truthfully again
“But I want you too take advantage of me” she announced
And she kissed me on the mouth at first I resisted but my doubts melted away and it was so nice it was like tasting forbidden fruit.
Her gangly arms wrapped serpent like around my neck
After a minute or so I fondled at her tit through the denim of the shirt and she adjusted her body position so I could get both of them in hand.
Then I undid a couple of poppers on my denim shirt and slid my hand inside onto her soft belly and impatiently slid it up to cup her small pliant titty and toyed with her rapidly erecting nipple.
The kissing was becoming intense so with my right hand occupied with her titty my right grabbed a handful of shirt and pulled it upwards until my hand was touching her firm round buttocks and her breathing was deepening with every snorting exhale through her nose.
Then my hands moved around onto her hip pausing briefly before descending through her thick mop of freshly bathed mousy pubic hair and between her tender lips
The moment my finger touched her pussy she broke away from my mouth as was moaning loudly in my ear as I stroked her through the juice.
Maisie desperately clung onto me as I fingered at her and then she lifted one leg off the floor as my attentions became more intense and with the knee bent she drew her long leg up until her thigh was almost perpendicular and l made her come.
We stood there for a few moments a strange three legged beast and I suddenly thought I was barely even hard, normally under those circumstances my cock would be bursting out of my robe hard enough to break her pelvis.
This was when I broke away from her
“This isn’t right,” I said
“What’s the matter?” she begged
“I can’t do it,” I told her
“Why?” she said with tears welling up
“You know why”
“No that’s not the reason it’s because I’m ugly and worthless”
And she turned her back on me and she cried again.
I put my hand on her shoulder.
“You don’t understand,” I said walking to my desk chair
“It’s because I want you too much”
I sat down staring at the computer screen as if it held the answer to our conundrum.
“I can’t make love to you no matter how much I want to”
“But I can make love to you” she suggested
And she was sitting on my desk wiping away a tear.
“Let me make love to you Simon” she pleaded
Then Maisie leant forward, pausing briefly, allowing me to see her tits hanging inside the denim and then she kissed me slow and tender.
I felt a tug about my waist as she attempted to undo the belt of my robe. First pulling at the wrong loose end she gave a little chuckle as she kissed me then she yanked on the other end and I was undone.
She threw to one side first one half and then the other until my cock was exposed though still reluctant to join in.
Her small, slightly calloused hands were unperturbed and tugged and pulled on my semi until it finally decided to attend.
Once I had reached full erection and she had roughly exposed my bell.
She sat back on the desk and admired her handiwork.
As she sat on my desk I stroked her outer thighs as I looked forward to her sliding onto my cock as I sat in my chair.
But at the point of potential penetration a look of doubtfulness crossed her face and she said
“I don’t know what to do”
I just squeezed her thighs and answered
”Don’t worry honey, we can stop, we don’t have to do this now there will be other times”
“No Simon, you don’t understand” Maisie said
“I want to do it, but I don’t know what to do”
“Is this your first time honey?”
She nodded shyly.
Now over the past few months I had turned into something of the resident cherry popper in the village.
Which to be quite honest I didn’t mind and nor did Georgia, India or Emily.
I know some men do and they like their partner to be well versed in the sexual arts and be as skilled as a courtesan and I’ll take them like that as well.
But equally I rather enjoy driving something with very low mileage or even straight from the showroom.
“Good” I told her and she smiled
“Now I’ll show you what to do ok?”
She nodded again more confidently this time.
I told her to brace herself and lower herself onto me.
So she placed one hand on the desk and the other on the back of my chair.
She was biting her lip and frowning a little with concentration as she lowered herself towards my purple waiting head
I gripped my shaft and held it steady
I felt my helmet touching her creamy lips and Maisie's whole body trembled as her lips enveloped my knob and she grimaced as it entered her, then she stopped,
I still had one hand on my cock while the other was on her hip
There was panic on Maisie's face and she didn’t know what to do next.
“Ease yourself up honey” I said making eye contact “then down again slowly, this time a little further
My right hand was now on her buttock
She followed my instruction and down she came another inch and she let out a nervous laugh but her expression was less concerned
“And again Hon”
Up again and down now she had another inch of me in her
This time no nervous laugh but a soft short moan
Both hands were on the chair back now and both mine were on her arse
Up again and down, another two inches
And a longer moan
Her eyes were shut as she rose again and they opened wide as she slid all the way down my shaft
“Ohhhhh” she moaned at the deepest penetration
Then her gangly arms wrapped round my neck and she kissed me
“Good girl” I said
“See you could do it”
Maisie kissed my neck and began rising and falling on my shaft again and again until she jerked to a conclusion.
“Good girl” I told her kissing her shoulder
Maisie had made love to me and it was very nice but I hadn’t come yet and I had more to give her and I would because I could have her now.
“That was amazing Maisie” I lied
Maisie was very satisfied with her performance and her orgasm but she had no benchmark.
So popping her own cherry was only the beginning and I took her into the lounge and made her come again and again before she felt me explode inside her.
After I had sullied and soiled her I soaked in the tub with her before sullying her afresh before she had to be at the village shop for work.
I would sully her again another day.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 13) The Estate Of Georgia

Despite the fact I was raised as a Christian by practising Christian parents who were and indeed still are very active in their church I had never been a particularly spiritual person, not surprising you may say given my positively loose morals.
I do however believe in a power greater than myself and I am not uncomfortable calling him God
The church however has always been a different matter and I have always been dismissive about those interfering Christian do-gooders doing good works and muttering on about their relationship with God.
I never had a relationship with God other than the fact I know he exists and he knows I exist and we have always left it at that.
I had not been a regular visitor to his house since I was sixteen when I was given the option to follow my own path; my parents thought optimistically I would choose to continue on the path they had led me along but they were disappointed.
So my interactions with the church were restricted to hatches matches and dispatches and the odd Christmas carol service, that was of course until I moved to Bushy Down.
I’m still not sure what prompted me to attend St Lucy’s back in February, it may have been to mourn dear Uncle John, and it might have been the despair at my writer’s block or perhaps just a need to reset my compass.
Whatever the reason was it reawakened something in me and every five or six weeks I would find myself standing at the back of St Lucy’s yodelling out “how great thou art”.
This news of my redemption somehow reached my mothers ears sometime in July and I became a little less of a pariah.
So when in August I took Georgia up to London for the weekend to visit my parents to introduce my girlfriend to the family I was treated as the prodigal son.
There was no fatted calf but as it was my favourite there was a very nice meat loaf.
You probably think, given my obvious philandering bent, it a rather old fashioned convention introducing my girlfriend to the family but I thought it was important.
You will doubtless also suggest that someone with the morals of an alley cat like myself has no place leading on a girl like Georgia Gregory.
Well the truth is I love her; mind you I also love every woman I sleep with when I’m with them,
But Georgia is the only one I love when we are apart.
So hence the long weekend visit to the parents, a trip I don’t take often or lightly.
It all went off quite well really all things considered the family all loved Georgia to bits, not that I thought for a moment they wouldn’t, even cousin Molly popped in on Sunday afternoon and the two of them got on like a house on fire.
The only downside to the whole weekend was my mother’s insistence that we sleep in separate rooms.
If not for the fact my mother was a good Christian woman then for the simple reason that as a writer of pornography, even if its disguised as adult literature, I could not be relied upon not to disgrace and degrade Georgia under their roof.
The result of this enforced separation and the fact that we didn’t have a moment to ourselves for two days, was that by the time we left on Sunday evening we were both horny as hell.
According to the satnav the time from Muswell Hill to Kiddingstone was forty-seven minutes on that Sunday night driving the Gregory’s Peugeot estate I would have done it in thirty-five.
But when we were about ten minutes from home Georgia said urgently pointing
“Pull in here”
She was pointing at a little lay-by set back from the road.
“Why?”
“Quick I need to pee”
So I pulled off the road as instructed and came to a halt.
Georgie got out and headed to the nearest bush, so I got out to stretch my legs and I could hear her pissing behind a bush, I walked a little closer, and it was really loud like a horse.
Just then a car went past on the other side of the road and for a split second I could actually see her peeing.
Why did I think that so exciting? God I was getting a semi on.
I never used to get aroused by such things; it must have been the incident with Camilla the squirting lawyer that had affected me.
Georgia finished and stood up so I went back to the car.
When she got in the passenger seat she was holding her knickers and tights in her hand,
“What did you take those off for?” I asked
“Why do you think?” she answered
“Did you pee on them?”
”No I didn’t,” she said indignantly
“So we can have sex” she corrected me
Then she kissed me and put her hand on my semi.
“God it doesn’t take much for you does it?”
Georgia unzipped my fly and yanked my cock out
Then she went down on me and sucked me hard
When she came up for air I asked
“Remind me why we’re having sex in the car when we can do it at mine in less than ten minutes”
“Because I’m horny now” she said wriggling out of her dress
“No self control” I told her
“That’s rich” she retorted pulling off her sweater
“I was a virgin until I met you”
“God I’ve created a monster,” I said sucking her tits while slipping her two fingers.
That did it for her, not only could she not wait until we got home for a good fuck but she couldn’t wait for the foreplay.
She clambered up the seat as a shortcut to the back seat
"Don’t be daft,” I said, “get out and use the back door,
“I’m naked” she said
“Its dark no one will see” I told her
“Sod that, I’m climbing over” she persisted
“Why?”
“I cant wait” she said “I want it now, get your arse in the back seat”
In her haste to get into the back seat before me she managed to get her left foot stuck between the driver’s seat and the centre console.
It was stuck fast
“I said “get out and walk round” but horny Georgie knew better” I said rubbing it in
“Just get it out Simon”
“Ok just try to relax,” I said
“Very funny”
Well I tried my best to free her foot but it wouldn’t budge, then I slipped myself and ended up with my face two inches from her hot cunny so obviously I noshed it
Her initial protests were quickly replaced by whorish moans
As I frigged her hole with two fingers and lapped up the resulting juice with my tongue
“Fuck me Simon Fuck Me,” she screamed
That was going to be easier said than done I thought.
Then I had an idea
“Hold on while I move the seat”
I reached down and grabbed the handle, yanking it up as I pushed the seat and Georgia shot back about eight inches,
I couldn’t move the driver’s seat because of her trapped foot
But moving the passenger seat afforded me just enough space to be able to get my head and shoulders through the sunroof and with my feet in the passenger foot well I slid my cock into her burning pussy.
All I could do was put my hands on her hips to steady her and just fuck her hard and fast, which I did and we both came in a matter of minutes.
I withdrew from her and slithered back down into the car, I couldn’t resist a quick suck on her cunny lips before I opened the car door and went into the back seat.
I found Georgia half in the back looking like she’d been dragged backwards through a hedge.
Her hair was a mess and her tits were just dangling there
“Hi” I said, “How are you doing?”
“Wow” she said, “That was amazing”
And laughed so I leant forward and kissed her.
“Lets get you unstuck” I said “then I’ll take you home and finish the job”
It took about thirty seconds to free her foot it seems that once Georgia had cum her lot she relaxed and her foot pretty much freed itself.
“Done” I said sitting in the middle of the back seat.
She kind of slithered into the back of the car like a snake and latched straight onto my serpent
“I thought we’d finish at home”
She stopped sucking for a second to say
“I’m going to finish you here”
Then she slurped on me again.
I finally got her into my bed at 3.00am.
The next morning Georgia had to be up early for work so after briefly spooning her I gave her the benefit of my early riser then she left me in bed, showered and went to work.