LONDON 2012 # 1
After seven long years
Of blood sweat and tears
The games can commence
And that test of human endurance
Can come to an end
As we abandon that trend
That has made us all cringe
The seven-year Olympic whinge
A GYMNAST AND A POLE DANCER
A gymnast and a pole dancer
Both skilled and both work hard
The only difference between them
It seems to me is a leotard
LONDON 2012 # 2
Alas I was in error
There is no end to the terror
Alas I was sadly wrong
The Olympic whinge goes on
BEACH VOLLEYBALL
I love the girl’s Beach Volleyball
I’m really very keen
It’s not like a proper beach though
For a start it’s just to clean
No cigarette ends or beer cans
And not a used condom to be seen
I LOVE THE OLYMPICS
I love the Olympics
And now it’s on home soil
It gives us an opportunity
As our competitors toil
To see them taking part
In events of this and that
Of seeing all the many sports
The team GB are so awful at
THE MCCARTNEY TRIALS 2012
I enjoyed the Jubilee concert
It was a wonderful night
I thought the opening ceremony
For the games was just right
But before any other major events
I want to know one thing
When is someone going to tell sir Paul?
That he can’t bloody sing
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