21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 366
Five little speckled frogs
Sat on a great big log
But they were soon to become
A delicious entre yum, yum
ARE YOU WEARING A SNOOD?
Are you wearing a snood?
Well I don’t like to be rude
But isn’t it a bit of a palaver
And it looks like a balaclava
I'VE SWALLOWED SOME
I've swallowed some of my
Scrabble tiles accidentally
I’m afraid when nature takes
It course it could spell tragedy
I CAN HEAR REALLY ANNOYING MUSIC
I can hear really annoying music
And it’s getting to be a real pain
It’s emanating from inside my printer
I think the paper's jammin' again
I WAS JUST SITTING THERE THINKING
I was just sitting there thinking
And wondered why absentmindedly
The baseball was getting bigger
And bigger and then it hit me
I WAS JUST SITTING IN THE STAND
I was just sitting in the stand
And wondered why absentmindedly
The football was getting bigger
And bigger and then it hit me
LOOK IT’S NOT LIKE I’M HURTING ANYONE
Look it’s not like I’m hurting anyone
It’s not like I fell for her out of habit
And can I say I’m only human after all
So is it weird that I fancy Jessica Rabbit?
MY MUM GAVE ME THE SEX TALK
My mum gave me the sex talk
And during it she told me what to do
“You don’t have to put anything
In your mouth that you don’t want to”
Well I thought about it for a while
And then I stopped eating tofu
HE ASKED ME A QUESTION
He asked me a question
In the most cryptic of ways
Does your mouth bleed?
Every twenty eight days?
And I didn’t recognise it
As an insult for several days
A SUSPECT IN THE ALASKAN MURDER CASE
A suspect in the Alaskan murder case
Was asked for an alibi by Detective Starch
When he asked "So tell me where you
Were on the night of September to March?"
I REALLY ENJOYED OUR DATE
I really enjoyed our date
I’m so glad that you rang
It was a brilliant Guy Fawkes
Night that ended with a bang
I THINK GOOGLE IS A WOMAN
I think Google is a woman because
It won't let me finish my question
Or a sentence for that matter, before
It starts making other suggestions
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