21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 356
Cock a doodle do!
The master's lost his fiddlestick?
And I don’t even think
I want to know what that is
ARE YOU WEARING ANYTHING TODAY?
Are you wearing anything today?
Well as I’m fond of your body type
If the answer is no, we can hang up
The phone and then we can Skype
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 4
If your blind date is described to you
As “Average looking” then look out
Because it will be worse than it sounds
And they’ll have a face like a trout
WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 4
We have loved eggs
Since we were children
Chuckie Eggs my dad
Used to call them
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 2
Is there anything more annoying?
Can there ever be any doubt
When you can never get anything
Back in a box the way it came out
DIETING TIP # 8
Regarding the eating of broken biscuits
I think I have a tip that might assuage
Cookie pieces contain no calories as
Breaking them causes calorie leakage
FOGHORN LEGHORN AND ALL HIS PALS # 1
Foghorn leghorn and all his pals
Are a sickly bunch of cocks
They are itchy and scratchy
And all have the people-pox
MY GRANDFATHER WAS FROM LAPLAND
My Grandfather was from Lapland
And he was a the greatest hunter I bet
And when he went to the bleak tundra
To catch Arctic hare he used a hare net
YOU CAN LIKEN WOMEN’S BREASTS
You can liken women’s breasts to a
Birthday gift of a train set, for lads
They were originally meant for kids
But who gets to play with them, Dads
I’M NOT A FUSSY EATER AND THERE ISN’T
I’m not a fussy eater and there isn’t
Much I won’t eat out of choice
But I will not eat an oyster because
It’s like licking phlegm off a tortoise
DIVIDE THE CIRCUMFERENCE
Divide the circumference
Of a Pumpkin by
Its diameter, and you
Will get Pumpkin Pi
DON’T THINK EXTRA TERRESTRIAL
Don’t think Extra Terrestrial
When this question begs
What is ET short for?
It’s because he's only got little legs
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