21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 355
Cock a doodle do!
The maid has lost her shoe,
And that’s not the only thing
She lost in barn
ARE YOU WEARING SKINNY JEANS?
Are you wearing skinny jeans?
They are a very skinny pair
But on those lovely slender legs
What else would you wear?
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 3
If your blind date is described to you
As “Well Educated” the choice is yours
It will probably be worse than it sounds
And means they had sex with all their tutors
WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 3
We have loved eggs
Since we were children
Cackle Berries my dad
Used to call them
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 1
Is there anything more annoying?
Is anything quite as wrong?
As the DJ on the radio
Not telling you who sang the song
SUPERMARKET BLUES # 2
You know it really gets me down
As you wait patiently in the queue
Waiting in line at the supermarket
And the line of People behind you
When as another checkout opens up
They suddenly dash ahead of you
To the newly opened checkout
And you’re at the back of your queue
And all those impatient shoppers
Get served and finished before you
DIETING TIP # 7
This is a sure fire way of slimming down
As dieting tips go it’s an absolute winner
If you make sure you associate with the obese
You will automatically look thinner
FOGHORN LEGHORN HAD A GIRLFRIEND
Foghorn Leghorn had a girlfriend
And her name was feathery Beth
But her feather all pointed the wrong way
And she tickled herself to death
I’M SITTING IN MY STUDY READING
I’m sitting in my study reading
Wearing my dressing gown
It’s a book about anti-gravity
It's impossible to put down
I DON’T LIKE LACE-UP SHOES
I don’t like lace-up shoes
And slip-ons aren’t so hot
That just leaves Velcro
So I figured why knot?
SNOWFLAKES MUST NEVER BE
Snowflakes must never be
Caught in your open mouth
Until you’re sure that all
The birds have flown south
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