I KNOW A LOT OF JOKES ABOUT THE UNEMPLOYED

 

I know a lot of jokes about the unemployed

The unfortunates and the ones who shirk

But no matter how many jokes I make

The simple truth is that none of them work

IF A COWBOY ASKS YOU IF YOU CAN HELP

 

If a cowboy asks you if you can help

Round up his nineteen cows

Just smile and say “Yes, of course”

That would be twenty cows”

A THESAURUS IS PRECIOUS

 

A thesaurus is precious

There’s no doubt about it

A thesaurus is great

There's no other word for it

SLEEP IS MY MOST FAVOURITE THING

 

Sleep is my most favourite thing

From lights out to days dawning

In fact it would be true to say

It's the why I get up in the morning

THE REASON WHY COWS HAVE HOOVES

 

The reason why cows have hooves

Instead of feet, everyone knows,

Because they are cloven footed

For the simple reason they lactose

I WAS NEARLY KILLED BY A SALT LORRY

 

I was nearly killed by a salt lorry

As I was riding in Surrey Heath

I was so angry I shouted at the driver

Though it was through gritted teeth

ARE YOU WEARING POINTY SHOES?

 

Are you wearing pointy shoes?

 Is that because they are on trend?

Well I’m sorry but I have to ask

“Do your toes go right to the end?”