The whole family were watching Pointless
Playing along and doing quite well, more or less
The first round was about words ending in TOR
But the answer was a carnivore or an omnivore
It had to end TOR, but the answer ate things
The first two answers were Alligator or Predator
My daughter shouted out “Vibrator” triumphantly
Good word but they don’t eat things I’m afraid sweetie
“Yes, they do dad” she argued “Mum told me so”
“She said, hers eats batteries like there’s no tomorrow”
A man dialled 999 and said
“I’m pretty sure my
wife is dead”
The operator asked him
calmly
“Why aren’t you
certain she’s dead?”
“Well the ironing
hasn’t been done,
But she’s still the
same in bed”
Two sailors where fighting
Over a prostitute on
the dance floor
They both had one arm
each
In a bizarre game of
Tug-of-whore
My older sister managed
To scare her
gynaecologist
But that’s one of the
perks
Of being a
ventriloquist
I worked in a cocktail bar where
A porn star was a
regular imbiber
And erotic film star
Bambi’s favourite
Drink Was 7 Up in
cider
The music teacher was found guilty
And put on the sex
offenders register
He was giving guitar
lessons and
Was arrested for
fingering A minor
I was scarred during my first time
And made me think I
was still a virgin
I thought I was doing
fine until she said
Those three dreaded
words, “Is it in?”
