21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 399

 

Little Jack Jingle,

He used to live single;

But his friends got tired

Of his happy single life

And bullied and cajoled

Until he got himself a wife

ARE YOU WEARING THAT LADY’S FAVOUR?

 

Are you wearing that lady’s favour?

Well, I should tell you sir knight

That if you’re fighting for her virtue

It really isn’t worth the fight

THE PREFECT AND THE OIK

 

“Why are you always such a dirty little oik?”

The prefect asked

“You are the dirtiest pupil by far,

Look at me, I’m always clean and smart”

The boy replied

“I'm closer to the ground than you are”

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 2

 

When it appears that you have succeeded

And the monster is lying dead

Do not for any reason go and check

Get the hell out of there instead

ONE DIRECTION HAVE SPLIT UP

 

“One Direction” have split up

It seems nothing lasts these days

Ironically all the members

Have gone their separate ways

MY DEAR ELDERLY MOTHER

 

My dear elderly mother

Suffers with indigestion

Ironically her Gaviscon

Is on a repeat prescription

LAST NIGHT I WAS SHAKEN VIOLENTLY AWAKE

 

Last night I was shaken violently awake

So I thought it must be an earthquake

But I soon realised as my heart was soaring

It was just my wife telling me I was snoring