21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 384

 

The old lady who lived in a shoe

Was forced into the sex trade

And moved into a thigh high

Stiletto Boot on what she made

ARE YOU WEARING A SMOCK?

 

Are you wearing a smock?

As you tend to your flock

Well inside your frock

I would like to run amok

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 14

 

Puss in Boots isn’t all he appears

And you will be shocked to your roots

He is more flamboyant in private

And is often Puss in Latex Boots

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 6

 

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And the anaesthetist thought he was funny

When the nurse dropped a scalpel he said     

“Sterile, shcmerile. the floor's clean, really”

DRIED FRUIT TRADE

 

A customer said “I want to swap a bag

Of sultanas for two bags of raisins mate”

“I can only give you one bag” he was told

“Because that’s the currant exchange rate”

RIGHT ANGLED TRIANGLES

 

I wanted to buy some right angled triangles

And I wanted to do it without any fuss

So I asked around and took expert advice  

And I was told to go to Pythag-R-Us

EXPERIENCED IN THE BEDROOM DEPARTMENT

 

I only dated my wife

Because I was told she was

“Experienced in the bedroom department”

Sadly it was gained

At Ikea over twenty years

Of course it was too late by then to lament