72 Miles From The Sea

Sunday, 5 February 2023

On the journey to work

I had a nightmare

But I woke up before I ran

Anyone down to be fair

The sign in the layby read

“No dumping” it was hard to miss

But luckily it didn’t apply to me

Because I only needed a piss

There was an irritating whining sound

As I was driving to work today

I ignored it and drove on into town

To drop my wife off and then it was ok

“Do you want to see a naked harpist?”

I was asked and of course replied yes please

But I was told that I mustn’t touch the harp

Because of the risk of catching harpies

I once went out with a harpist

Who played it naked, except for specs

She wasn’t very good but afterwards

We had No strings attached sex

I picked up a tray of Lamb chops

Labelled “Reared in Wales” in the shop

I refused to buy them on the basis

That I thought that was a bit racist

Hush, little baby, don't say a word,

Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.

If I can get one from Pets at home