ARE YOU WEARING A FRANKENSTEIN OUTFIT?

Are you wearing a Frankenstein outfit?

Well Frankenstein’s creation I’d guess

Oh, you’re not wearing a mask at all

And that’s all just anaphylaxis

IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 3

If your blind date is described to you

As “Well Educated” the choice is yours

It will probably be worse than it sounds

And means they had sex with all their tutors 

WE ALL NEED A PLACE TO BE ALONE

 

We all need a place to be alone

Somewhere to find serenity

A place for some “me” time

It could be in the mountains

Or down beside the sea

Or even sitting in the garden

Enjoying a cup of tea

 

MY GRANDDAD WON’T EAT BROWN BREAD

 

My granddad won’t eat brown bread

Because he doesn’t have to anymore

When he was a boy his whole family

Had to eat it because they were poor

WHEN POLICE SEARCHED THE HOME

 

When Police searched the home

Of Cliff Richard, and were to seize

A very large amount of material

Because they were led to believe

There was a link to Yew Tree

And they found among the amalgam

To their complete and utter disgust

That he was releasing a new album

ESKIMO FISHERMEN

Eskimo fishermen sat shivering in their kayak

So, they lit a fire in the craft to warm the two

And it immediately sank, proving once and for all

That you can't have your kayak and heat it too

EIGHT OUT OF TEN INNER CITY MALES

 

Eight out of ten inner city males

Have had sex in the shower, they admit

However, the other twenty percent

It would seem haven't been to prison yet