MY SISTER HAS A TANNING SALON

 

My sister has a tanning salon

It is hers and her husband John’s

And at the national tanning awards

Their establishment won bronze

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 253

 

There once was a lady named Paddy Rabbitt

Who had a flat in Tower Bridge she did inhabit

But no one would believe it

Not a living soul would have it

That a flat in Tower Bridge housed Paddy Rabbitt

 

For StanTheMan

ARE YOU WEARING A SCARY SCOWL?

 

Are you wearing a scary scowl?

And now you’re doing the growl

Am I supposed to throw in the towel?

 

You evil troll you cause me no fear

Back to your bridge do you hear

Your powers are useless here

ARE YOU WEARING A GHOULISH JUMPER?

 

Are you wearing a ghoulish Jumper?

Well, its contents are rather bumper

I don’t think you’re one of those kooks

And that’s a lovely pair of spooks

A CHEESY TALE

 

My love life is like

A wheel of Swiss cheese I think

It’s full of holes

And the remainder tends to stink

AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART

 

An affair of the heart

And at my age too

Well yes, I know it’s

A bypass that’s true

IT’S A SURE SIGN YOU HAVE LOST # 1

 

It’s a sure sign you have lost

Your sex appeal for certain

When the local peeping tom

Chooses to close your curtain