ON HOLIDAY IN THE WEST COUNTRY

 

On holiday in the West Country,

During a recreational pursuit

I discovered that Plymouth Hoe

Was not a Devonian Prostitute

PLAYING "LA CUCARACHA"

 

Playing "La Cucaracha"

I hear the chimes call

Come get our hot food

Come one and come all

It’s the cockroach song

Is no one concerned at all?

IT’S YOUR OWN TIME YOU’RE WASTING

 

“It’s your own time you’re wasting”

But no one listens to the teacher

So, when option time came around

I went and signed up for media

IN THE CORRIDORS AT MY SCHOOL

 

In the corridors at my school

We were allowed to run

There was a simple explanation,

We didn’t have a gymnasium

SOMETHING HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY

 

Something happened at school today

Which has shaken us up a bit

We had an issue with the register

As two of our teachers were on it

I CAN SAY FROM EXPERIENCE

 

I can say from experience

Marriage is in no way like prison

And the reason I say that

Is you get far more sex in prison

WHY CAN'T YOU RUN THROUGH A CAMP?

 

Why can't you run through a camp?

Because that would cause grammatical offence

You cannot run through a camp at all

It would obviously “be ran” because it's past tents