ARE YOU WEARING PINCE-NEZ?

 

Are you wearing pince-nez?

Don’t they pinch a bit?

They look a little uncomfortable

But with your image they fit

 

That looks an impressive book

A rather weighty tome, isn’t it?

It will make you look good

If you die halfway through it

THE WATER FEATURE

Running Water is so therapeutic

It seems to Wash away your cares

However, the exception to the rule

Is when it’s running down the stairs

LIDL

 

Lidl in Stevenage has closed its doors

And has been raised to the floor

To build a new Lidl superstore

Which won’t be so Lidl anymore

CHINESE FAST FOOD

 

We went out to pick up

A Chinese takeaway

But we were skint, so we did

A Chinese Runaway

ON THE QUESTION OF INDEPENDENCE

On the question of independence

This is what I truly believe

The people of England, really

Don’t care if Scotland leave 

ON THE QUESTION OF SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE

 

On the question of Scottish independence

They’ve worded it the wrong way

Don’t ask the Scots if they want to go

Ask the English if we want them to stay

I SOLD THE VACUUM CLEANER

 

I sold the vacuum cleaner

I wasn’t really fussed

After all, at the end of the day

It was just collecting dust