ARE YOU WEARING STEAK?

 

Are you wearing steak?

A pork chop? Ok my mistake

Oh, your eye is very swollen

What happened to you then?

You went to the shop for steak

But bought chops, ok your mistake

ROSES ARE VIOLET

 

Roses are Violet

Violets are Lilac

Lilacs are Roses

And she wants then back

WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE

 

When we have to go somewhere,

Then absolutely anything, to be fair

Is honestly fine for you wear

BEER AND FOOTBALL

 

Beer and football are

As exciting for me

As handbags and shoes

Are for you, really

THE DIVORCE COURT JUDGE SAID

 

The divorce Court Judge said “Mr. Curtis,

I have decided to give your wife £500 a week”

“That’s very fair, your honour,' Mr Curtis said

“I can manage a few quid myself at a squeak”

I WENT TO A POSH JEWELLER

I went to a posh jeweller to buy a new watch,

And I told the geezer I wanted it really top notch

So, he said “Analogue” I replied “No, just a watch"

AS IVAN ILLICH ONCE WROTE

 

As Ivan Illich once wrote,

A man clearly cleverer than me

Who stated that within

A consumer society

There are inevitably

Two kinds of slaves

The prisoners of addiction

And the prisoners of envy