ARE YOU WEARING STEAK?

 

Are you wearing steak?

A pork chop? Ok my mistake

Oh, your eye is very swollen

What happened to you then?

You went to the shop for steak

But bought chops, ok your mistake

VIOLET HIT ROSE

 

Violet hit Rose

Square on the nose

She lost the plot

And Rose cried a lot

 

Noses have bled

Eyes they are red

Violet you’re blue

But what did I do?

WEEKENDER BENDER

 

George left work early one Friday

And went out with the lads, on a bender

He finally got home to his unhappy wife

On Sunday night after a boozy weekender

After hours of bitching and moaning

His wife asked him a simple question

“Would you like not to see me for three days?

“Very much” he said without hesitation

He didn’t see her at all on Monday

Nor did he see her on Tuesday and Wednesday

After the swelling had begun to subside

He could see her out of one eye on Thursday

THE DOMESTIC GAME

The beautiful game
Is one of different hues
It can redden your face
And cause marital blues
Especially when you add
An excess of cheap booze
When victory is achieved
Sex often ensues
But it’s a different story
If he watches them lose
He’ll wear a football shirt
And she’ll wear a bruise
The bigger the match
The shorter his fuse
As he rants and raves
She shakes in her shoes
At the final whistle
Full of anger and booze
He wears red and white
She wears black and blue