ROSES ARE BLUE

 

Roses are Blue

I can see them on view

Rose you are red

Was it something I said?

MY WIFE GOT ME TO BELIEVE IN RELIGION

 

My wife got me to believe in religion

Not something you could foretell

But it was true because until

I married her I didn't believe in Hell

WHERE DID I GET MY INTELLIGENCE?

 “Dad, where did I get my intelligence?'

The young schoolboy asked his father

“Well son as I still have mine” he said

“You obviously got it from your mother”

THE EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR

The Emergency Room doctor said

“I don't like the look of your wife at all sir”

“Nor me” he agreed “But she can cook,

Do the decorating and the kids like her”

AIRPORT AIRHEAD

Bimbette called the Airport and asked

“How long will it take to fly from London

To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute”

“Thank you” Bimbette said and she was gone

AN OLD MAN GOES TO SEE A WIZARD

An old man goes to see a Wizard

To ask him to remove a curse

That had been on him forty years

The wizard said he was not averse

But he needed the words of the curse

To remove the cause of his strife

The man said I know them off by heart

“I now pronounce you man and wife”

THERE WAS A MURDER IN A NORFOLK VILLAGE

 

There was a murder in a Norfolk village

But the police are struggling to solve it

In fact they can’t even identify the body

Despite the corpse having an additional digit

The DNA matches everyone in the village

And dental records aren’t helping a bit