MEASURE YOUR LIFE BY THE QUANTITY OF SMILES

Measure your life by the quantity of smiles,

And forget the tears

Measure your age by the quality of friends,

And forget the passing years

A MOST GRIEVOUS SIN

 

A most grievous sin

To depucelate the purity

To sully and deflower,

Without the beauty of love

As an accompaniment.

Such deprivation of innocence

To taint and corrupt

And conspire in her defiling

Without romantic love

Is the province of the beast

WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS A BIT OF A LAD

 

When I was young, I was a bit of a lad

But now life has caught up with me

It used to be wine, women and song

Now it's beer, the old lady and TV 

WHY IS IT WHEN TWO PEOPLE MARRY?

 

Why is it when two people marry?

It is predestined for him

To never remember birthdays

And for her to never forget them

THE BEST YEARS OF A WOMAN'S LIFE

The best years of a woman's life

Are the ones she feels naughty

And it’s those ten special years

Between thirty-nine and forty

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 230

 

Daffy-down-Dilly

Has come to town

With a yellow petticoat

And a pretty green gown

“Quick phone the fashion police”

ARE YOU WEARING A FRENCH LETTER?

 

Are you wearing a French letter?

A bulletproof vest would be better

You have far greater prospects

Of getting shot than of getting sex