ONLY LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE

 

Only lie about your age,

In the event of an emergency

For example, when you are asked

How old you are sweetie

AT MY ADVANCED AGE

 

At my advanced age

I've seen it all

I've heard it all

And I’ve done it all

The only problem is

I can remember bugger all

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 228

 

Pease pudding hot,

Pease pudding cold,

Pease pudding in the pot

Nine days old.

“That’s got to be past its sell by date”

ARE YOU WEARING A FACE PACK?

 

Are you wearing a face pack?

Hello it is you under there?

I know how to check, I’ll cop a feel

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare

That was quite a hand full

So that’s not my wife under there

URVASHI

 

Urvashi, Apsara

Of the clouds and waters

In Hindu and Buddhist mythology

A celestial nymph

And celestial maiden

A beautiful supernatural being

Youthful and elegant,

Who dances to the music

Of the Gandharvas,

In the palaces of the Gods,

Entertainer and seducer

Of Gods and men

An ethereal being

Inhabiting the skies

PICKUP # 12

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

“Hey baby did you clean

Your pants with Glass Gem?

Because I can practically

See myself in them”

 

I LOVE YOU BY ANY MEASURE # 4

 

I love you by any measure

You might wish to use

But I don’t know how to express

The way I feel about you

And the affect you have on me

So, I hope this gives you a clue

If you were a heavenly star

You would be the brightest by far