TAKEAWAYS

When my Dad was just a boy

They didn’t have takeaways

Except in maths which were

Called subtraction in olden days

PIZZA FAME

 

When my Dad was just a boy

He had never heard of pizza

But he thought it was famed

For having a leaning tower

SALT AND SHAKE

When I was a kid all crisps were plain

But we didn’t care about that a jot

After all we still had the choice

Of whether to put the salt on or not

WE USED TO EAT A LOT OF RICE

 We used to eat a lot of rice

When I was a boy, no kidding

But never for our dinner, we had it

With condensed milk for pudding

HORSEY CLAIRE BALDING

Horsey Claire Balding

Is always with a nag

I think she looks like

Stephen Fry in drag

MARRIAGE HAS BEEN A VERY BUMPY RIDE

 

Marriage has been a very bumpy ride

Since we joined in Holy Deadlock

And the little lady’s never happier

Than when she has me in a headlock

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 210

 

There was a fat man of Bombay,

Who was smoking one sunshiny day,

When a government lackey

Confiscated all his backy

And fined the fat man of Bombay