MARRIAGE HAS BEEN A VERY BUMPY RIDE

 

Marriage has been a very bumpy ride

Since we joined in Holy Deadlock

And the little lady’s never happier

Than when she has me in a headlock

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 210

 

There was a fat man of Bombay,

Who was smoking one sunshiny day,

When a government lackey

Confiscated all his backy

And fined the fat man of Bombay

ARE YOU WEARING A HALO?

Are you wearing a halo?

Well angel you look very sweet

But looks can be deceptive

Not every angel that I meet

Is as sweet as they look

And their morals take a back seat

So, are you as sweet as you look?

If not, then I’m in for a treat 

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DAY WEEK

 

On Monday Snow White feels Sneezy

On Tuesday she’s feeling grumpy

By Wednesday she feels Dopey

And On Thursday she’s feeling Bashful

On Friday Snow White feels Happy

And On Saturday she feels Sleepy

But on Sunday when she wants a rest

Then Doc gets inside her vest

THEY’D NEVER HEARD OF YOGURT

 

They’d never heard of yogurt

When my Mum was young

And putting it on your privates

Would’ve got you hung

CURRYING FAVOUR

When my grandfather was a boy

No Curry houses existed near or far

In order to go out for an Indian

He would’ve had to go to India

MY GRANDFATHER TAKES FIVE SUGARS

My Grandfather takes five sugars

In his tea and yet he is very old

He remembers when sugar was good

In fact, he said it was called white gold