21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 193

 

Mary was a little tart

All the girls called her a ho

Because everyman in town

Had seen her down below

ARE YOU WEARING A BOB?

 

Are you wearing your hair in a bob?

I think they’ve done a good job

It makes you look like a flapper

No, I didn’t say you were a slapper

From the roaring twenties, a party girl

No, I didn’t say you were a tarty girl

Instead of having your hair cut short

In order to prevent any auditory, distort

And to stop you miss hearing things

You should have had your ears syringed

GREEN LEATHER CHESTERFIELD

 

In green leathered comfort

I sat in a Chesterfield

In an atmosphere

That totally appealed

Among my piers

In silent appreciation

Almost a reverence

Of our quiet situation

A brandy on the table

A cigar in the ash tray

And the world held

Well and truly at bay

I’VE ENROLLED MY SON # 2

 

I’ve enrolled my son

On an evening class for

Learning how to dry towels

By not leaving them on the floor

RED SILK

 

Red silk clinging,

Accentuating

Each contour

Each curve

And when she moved

It moved with her

Like a soft caress

 

I DO PREFER NATURAL BEAUTY

 

I saw her and thought “not a fan”

She was all extensions and fake tan

And she’d applied the slap thick

And her lips needed a chap stick

I thought it again as she left lipstick

Around my undiscerning dipstick

I WAS STUCK IN TRAFFIC

I was stuck in traffic

And cursing they delay

And whatever problem

That was in the way

 

There was an accident

Bike versus van

Resulting in Life changing

Injuries To a man

 

And my one concern

Had been the inconvenience        

But though I was late

I was not as a consequence

 

Left unable to walk

Or injured in anyway

Yes, I was late for work

But I was still ok