I AM NOT IN ANY WAY INTERESTED IN

 

I am not in any way interested in

An alternative energy supplier

Because if I said I was unhappy

With food I would be a liar

SHE WAS A VERY BIG LASS

 

She was a very big lass

And Apple shaped I suppose

But she was dressed

In quite unsuitable clothes

 

Beige Lycra pedal pushers

And a long white clingy top

They would have looked better

Left hanging in the shop

 

It certainly was a sight

I wouldn’t easily forget

As I watched her in the sun

Looking like a melting cornet

THE LIGHTHOUSE

 

The Lighthouse, with

Lantern burning bright

Stands sentinel

A beacon in the night

Steadfastly gazing out

Its piercing light

Cutting through the dark

Warning those at sea

In peril or plight

And providing all

With its piercing light

In the darkest hour

A comforting sight

LOOKING FOR A NEW START

 

My wife and I were

Looking for a new start

So I bought a Waterbed

To rekindle loves spark

Something fresh and exciting

But we just drifted apart

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 169

 

Molly, my sister,

And I fell out,

And what do you think

It was all about?

She loved coffee

And I loved tea,

And that was the reason

We couldn't agree!

 

If you believe that

Then more fool you

She was actually screwing

My husband Hugh

ARE YOU WEARING FISHNET STOCKINGS?

 

Are you wearing fishnet stockings?

They might be considered shocking

To those who think prim and proper

About a saucy stocking topper

Their thoughts are rather haughty

Where mine lean towards the naughty

So, what other delightful accessory

Might be found up where necessary

HAIR OF SILVER

 

Hair of silver

Falls untamed

Over blemished skin

In perfect compliment

Graceful aging

And timeless beauty