When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“There is something wrong
With my mobile phone miss”
You might well begin
The Bank of England Announced
In an article they
wrote
Jane Austen Will
appear
On the new ten pound
note
I don’t like to put a
damper
On the decision but
you see
This decision means
that
She will be the
“Tenner” Lady
My wife is a jailer
And in a fit of
passion
I made advances
To get my marital
ration
In the ensuing melee
I became entangled
In her bunch of keys
As they dangled
I begged for
assistance
But she just scoffed
And in the end
She just fobbed me off
I lost my thesaurus today
It was after the exam
I can’t find the words
to describe
How upset I am
This morning’s Breakfast News
Live from Downing
Street
On the rolling news
that never stops
I have learned in the
last few minutes
That the Prime
Minister had toast
While Nick Clegg had
coco pops
My Dad had to have his cat put down
It was all terribly
sad
He didn’t find that
the lethal injection
Was all that bad
But what the vet said
afterwards
Really upset my Dad
“That’s the first of
the injections
Out of the way Mr
Plaid
Only another eight to
go”
Which was when Pop went
mad
I was always told that Farming
Was a terribly tough
way of life
Well, I haven’t found
that to be the case
And nor has Audrey my
wife
We were told by almost
everyone
We were making a big
mistake
But we chose to be Wind
Farmers
And honestly, it’s a
piece of cake
