HE CERTAINLY WASN’T MUCH OF A POLICEMAN # 2

He certainly wasn’t much of a policeman

Of that most people would concur

His colleagues called him the Gurkha

Because he never took a prisoner

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE THE STAR

 

Everyone wants to be the star

Of their own life story

But life isn’t like a movie

You don’t get the chance

To re-take the scenes you mess up

And it isn’t like a play

That can be painstakingly rehearsed

You have to go on cold

You may dry up or miss your cue

Or fluff your lines

You may need prompting

You will probably have to improvise

But it’s up to you how the drama unfolds

And whether you are hero or villain

OUR SCARECROW WON FIRST PRIZE

 

Our scarecrow won first prize

When the winner was revealed

The judges at the county show

Thought it outstanding in its field

THE CARPENTERS

  

My wife said to me

Let’s play carpenter’s

So, we got hammered

Then I nailed her

BLOOD MAY WELL BE THICKER THAN WATER

 

Blood may well be thicker than water

But to a son or daughter

When it comes to Parenthood

This should be understood

There’s more to it you see

What makes a parent is proximity

PRIOR TO 1066

 

Prior to 1066

Before he became a conqueror

William of Normandy

Was just known as William the.

MY WIFE WANTED THE HEATING ON

 

My wife wanted the heating on in september

But I didn’t want it on until at least october

In our house its known simply as cold war-fare