MUM KNITTED ME A JUMPER

 

Mum knitted me a jumper

I hate wearing it as I look silly

But I’m a kid so I have to

Especially when mum feels chilly

IN THE ITV NEWSROOM

 

In the ITV Newsroom

Just ahead of the action

The producer announces

“Lights Camera Fiction”

CEPHALOPODS

 

I just couldn’t make the octopus laugh

I thought he was either stupid or fickle

But no, you just need to know the secret

So, to make him laugh takes ten tickles

PHILOSOPHICAL WISDOM

 

Please don’t fret, because

Today is the tomorrow

We worried about yesterday

And all is well as you know

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 161

 

Boys and girls come out to play,

The moon does shine as bright as day;

They come with a rug and a packet of three

They come prepared to play carnally

ARE YOU WEARING A NURSE’S OUTFIT?

 

Are you wearing a nurse’s outfit?

Does it come with all the kit?

The starched apron and the hat

The black stockings and all that

Oh what a feast before my eyes

Come and feel my pulse rate rise

Only you can now tangibly

Cure this poor patient’s malady

I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 1

 

I’m thinking about taking a holiday

But I don’t know where to go

However I may end up in Sane

How I get there, I don’t know

As they don't have an airport

You can be driven there though