GIFTED AMATEURS

 

If someone says they’re an Amateur

There’s really no need to panic

Because Amateurs built the Ark

While Professionals built the Titanic

AT DR DOOLITTLE’S ANIMAL CLINIC

 

At Dr Doolittle’s animal clinic

The Animals do the lot

The chief vet is a Labrador

Assisted by a dog called spot

 

But it’s not a cheap option

With extra charges of all sorts

For PET scans and Polly grams

Cat scans and Lab reports

THE WILDLIFE DOWN UNDER

 

The wildlife down under

Includes the Wallabies

But if truth be known they’re

Just Kangaroo Wannabies

IN THE EUROPEAN FORESTS

 

In the European forests

The wild boar can be vicious

But it’s worth the risk

As they’re bloody delicious

SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE # 1

 

As a proud Briton

I will be disappointed

If Scotland, choose to go

 

As an Englishman

I’ll be disappointed

If they vote no

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 148

 

Elsie Marley's grown so fine,
She won't get up to feed the swine,
But lies in bed 'till eight or nine!
Doing the farm hands two at a time

ARE YOU WEARING BEIGE?

 

Are you wearing beige?

For one reason or another

But please don’t be telling me

That it’s your favourite colour