DON’T KEEP THINGS BOTTLED UP

 

Don’t keep things bottled up

If life is getting you down

Pour yourself a large one

And drink away your frown

THE LEADER TOUCHED A BUOY

 

The leader touched a buoy

During the course of race,

When he got to the shore

His mother slapped his face

BABY CARE UNIT

 

I just heard about an incident

That is reportedly true

Concerning a hospital

That has caused a to do

About the baby’s face

Somebody taped a dummy to

Well, I have kids myself

And I would, wouldn’t you?

SENIOR BUFFER

 

I went into PC World

With a print error

And their solution

Filled me with terror

 

The spotty youth

On his help desk stint

Said I had to

Control P to print

OUT OF THIS WORLD PRODUCE

 

My supermarkets veg is the best

Normally for quality you can’t beat it

But I bought some rocket salad

That went off before I could eat it

OK STEVE

 

He said “it’s Stephen with a PH”

Which I thought pedantic

But he wasn’t a fussy git at all

He was just very acidic

TAP IT, UNWRAP IT

 

The Chocolate Orange

I have so far concluded

As one of your five a day

It may definitely be included