21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 116

 

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,

Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown.

He does it for attention so everyone can see

Because he thinks that he’s a celebrity

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 7

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at Tesco’s

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the shoppers

When it says Extortionate, Extortionate

ARE YOU WEARING BODY PAINT?

 

Are you wearing body paint?

Don’t tell me that you aint

Now you’ve got me in a fluster

I can see its glorious lustre

What a sexy sight to savour

What? It’s chocolate flavour?

Don’t tease me now stop it

There’s only one thing can top it

I’ll tell you and no mistake

And that’s a Cadbury’s flake

FIRST SIGNS OF AGEING

She looked in the mirror

Then she started to cry

She had seen her first grey hair

And she thought she'd dye

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE - ACUPUNCTURE

 

When you finish the treatment

You feel like number one

I would certainly recommend it

Acupuncture is a jab well done

CITY OF ANGELS

 

The smog sits over Los Angeles

On another California day

But when the smog finally lifts

U.C.L.A.

A SEISMIC SHIFT

 

An eminent professor thought

Her earthquake theory was sound

But soon found her knowledge

Was on very shaky ground