LOCAL AMENITIES

 

I’ve just been to the shops

They didn’t impress me at all

But if you’ve seen one shopping centre

You’ve seen a mall

TROUBLESOME YOUTH

 

Police were called to the kindergarten

And the reason for the request

Was a troublesome three-year-old

Who was resisting a rest

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 113

 

Jack and Jill went into town

To have a drink with each other

They both fell down

Outside the crown

And then threw up in the gutter

ARE YOU WEARING A WONDER BRA?

 

Are you wearing a wonder bra?

I think you almost certainly are

If you’re not I’ll eat my cigar

Because nature isn’t that bizarre

And doesn’t push them up that far

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 4

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Old Bailey

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the Barristers

When it says Exonerate, Exonerate

WHAT DO YOU CALL?

 

What do you call?

The first asylum seeker to appear

From his hiding place

Obviously, it’s Amir 

What do you call?

The second one, come to dwell

To have a better life

His name’s Amir Azwel! 

What do you call?

The third man lithe of limb

Immerging from the truck

Amir Azwel Azim!

CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICKEN

 

Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken,

Lay a little egg for me.

Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken,

I want one for my tea

And this time if I don’t get one.

You’ll be dead by half past three.

So, chick, chick, chick, chicken,

They’ll be chicken for my tea