My wife of many years
Thinks that I’m
immature
Why she has the
opinion
I confess that I’m not
really sure
She thinks we need to
sit down
And talk the problem
through
I think it’s a load of
tosh
To be perfectly honest
with you
But in the interest of
peace, I agreed
Though I don’t see the
reason
But I told her I
couldn’t do it
Until after the conker
season
After a night out at the pub
I drunk until I could
drink no more
And in a disorderly
way
I made my way out of
the door
But being the worse
for ware
I hadn’t walked very
far
When I came to the
conclusion
I was too drunk to
drive the car
So, I decided to take
the bus
And I arrived safely
at my door
Which was truly
amazing
As I’d never driven a
bus before
My mate was so depressed
In fact, he was
suicidal
But he wasn’t dynamic
In fact, he was bloody
idle
So, I took care of him
As a true friend never
quits
I pushed him under a
train
He was chuffed to bits
Steve Jobs has gone to glory,
He’s joined Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now the familiar story is
No Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.
My 50th was approaching
A milestone for us
males
I’d dropped loads of
hints
Because hinting never
fails
“I want something new
and shiny,
And for further
details,
Go from 0 to 150
And all that that
entails”
Well, she went and
bought me
A new set of bathroom
scales
The police, investigating a series of horrific murders
Appear to be out
manoeuvred at every turn
All the victims were
stabbed with knitting needles
Are the only details
they’ve been able to discern
But even with such disappointing
progress
They believe the killer maybe following a pattern
Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And gave her mother
forty whacks,
And her defence in
court would be
She was suffering from
PMT
