WHEN STEVE JOINED BOB AND JOHNNY

Steve Jobs has gone to glory,

He’s joined Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.

Now the familiar story is

No Jobs, no Hope and no Cash. 

MY 50TH

 

My 50th was approaching

A milestone for us males

I’d dropped loads of hints

Because hinting never fails

“I want something new and shiny,

And for further details,

Go from 0 to 150

And all that that entails”

Well, she went and bought me

A new set of bathroom scales

MURDER SQUAD

The police, investigating a series of horrific murders

Appear to be out manoeuvred at every turn

All the victims were stabbed with knitting needles

Are the only details they’ve been able to discern

But even with such disappointing progress

They believe the killer maybe following a pattern 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 99

 

Lizzie Borden took an axe,

And gave her mother forty whacks,

And her defence in court would be

She was suffering from PMT

ARE YOU WEARING BIG KNICKERS?

 

Are you wearing big knickers?

Those good old-fashioned drawers

That cover everything that matters

But are still the source of phwors

MY LEAST FAVOURITE THINGS # 2

 

Rotund young women as round as they’re tall

Frumpy old maids with no dress sense at all

Middle aged women who think it’s still spring

These are a few of my least favourite things

THE MERITS OF FERRETS

 

The merits of ferrets

Are the traits he inherits

For hunting the rabbit

In the place they inhabit