PEARL ANNIVERSARY

 

After thirty years of marriage

To celebrate our anniversary

My wife and I

Went back once again

To our honeymoon hotel

And this time it was I

Who chose to sit alone

In the bathroom

And cry

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 96

 

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was black as night

And in the winter snow

It stood out against the white

ARE YOU WEARING SILK?

 

Are you wearing silk?

Against your luscious skin

Beneath that pretty dress

Are you dressed for sin?

Garments of sensual silk

How I crave to be within

BRITISH LADS ABROAD

 

British lads abroad

On the pull

Like what they see

With undiscerning eye

Out to play

Looking for an easy lay

On another 18-30 holiday

 

BRITISH MANHOOD

 

British manhood

Out on the Razz

Have no conscience

Or boundaries

When endowed

With the beer goggles

They have no preferences

If you shaved a pig

And put it in a dress

With white stilettos

Someone would take it home

Given a late enough hour

And sufficient beer

The necessity to shave the pig

Would be redundant 

I LOVE POOH BEAR

 

I love Pooh bear

And Paddington bear

I love my panda bear

And my teddy Bear

But most of all I must declare

I love my honey bare

I LOST MY JOB TODAY

 

I lost my job today, I was sacked

My boss finally drove me to the brink

So, I said “Shhh, just listen to the sound

Of nobody caring what you think”