I HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED

 

I have been happily married

For five years to my wife Terri

Unfortunately we’ve just celebrated

Our golden anniversary

MARITAL EXPECTATION

 

My wife kept hinting about the gift

She wanted for our anniversary

She said, “I want something shiny

That goes from 0 to 150

In about 3 seconds will do me”

And this was repeated in detail

As the anniversary neared

So, he bought her a bathroom scale

PEARL ANNIVERSARY

 

After thirty years of marriage

To celebrate our anniversary

My wife and I

Went back once again

To our honeymoon hotel

And this time it was I

Who chose to sit alone

In the bathroom

And cry

HE MARKED HIS GOLDEN WEDDING

 

He marked his golden wedding

With his customary defiance

Celebrating the special occasion

With a two minute silence

ANNIVERSARY PLAN

“Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”

A husband asked his wife as it was that time again

“Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said.

So with a smile he suggested, “How about the kitchen?”