ARE YOU WEARING EASTER EARRINGS?

 

Are you wearing Easter earrings?

To mark the most holy of days

With the simplicity of the cross

It is the most symbolic of ways

PUT DOWN # 46

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

“Let me make mad passionate love to you”

He may say seductively

Just reply to him

'Did I mention the kick in the balls you'll get if you touch me?'

A FORCE OF NATURE

 

It may be like fabric tearing

Or maybe gunfire shooting

It may be like a trumpet sounding

Or some other musical tooting

 

It may be like a despairing sigh

Or like a balloon deflating

It may be like a duck quacking

Or some small mammals mating

 

But whether loud or soft

Short or long, musical, or flat

There’s one thing for sure

You can’t keep it in so that’s that

AN AIR OF DISAPPROVAL

 

I am not embarrassed

When the trumpet sounds

Like when Joshua brought

Jericho’s walls falling down

 

But my wife feels differently

And her face does frown

When I happen to loudly fart

As we are walking in town

MY GIRLS DUMPING ME

My girls dumped me

For some hirsute Brute

I was gob smacked

I said strewth Ruth

You can’t leave me for him

Not this prick Mick

Well, he wanted to fight for her

But I called a truce Bruce

I said I don’t want you to go

To tell you the truth Ruth

But you’ve made your choice

And it’s thick Mick

I had tears in my eyes

I was bellowing like a moose Bruce

As I helped her into her truck

God I’ll miss that beaut Ute                    

START TO FINISH

 

Start to finish

Beginning to end

Dawn till dusk

Weekday to weekend

Young to old

Forever my friend

I TOOK HIM TO THE MOUNTAIN

 

I took my grandson

Up into the mountains

We walked for three hours

Until we reached a vantage point

And we sat and looked in awe

At Gods majestic landscape

My intention was to impart some wisdom

To my young grandson

About how he was at the start line

And I had the finish line in sight

But I didn’t in the end

It was only when we had hiked

For three hours down the mountain

That I remembered

Why we went up there in the first place