THE CRUCIFIXION

 

He was crucified, and then

As he ascended into heaven

Jesus was heard to say

Up, up and Yahweh

ARE YOU WEARING AN EASTER CARDIGAN?

 

Are you wearing an Easter Cardigan?

Or perhaps I should ask you why?

It’s a gloriously sunny day

And there’s not a cloud in the sky

ARE YOU WEARING EASTER EARRINGS?

 

Are you wearing Easter earrings?

To mark the most holy of days

With the simplicity of the cross

It is the most symbolic of ways

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 80

 

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her face

She might call it a curl

But I’m afraid little girl

You’ve actually grown a moustache

THE BEST EASTER ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 3

 

The best Easter actor of all time

Well maybe not but bear with me

So, for this exercise he’s the winner

And Cluck Norris that would be

ARE YOU WEARING AN EASTER DRESS?

 

Are you wearing an Easter Dress?

The big yellow ribbon is really pleasant

I’m itching to pull at that bow

So, I can unwrap my Easter present

THE ONLY WAY THE EASTER BUNNY # 2

 

The only way the Easter Bunny

Can decorate eggs in time for Easter

Is to paint them all, otherwise

They would have to use wallpaper

ARE YOU WEARING AN EASTER TOP?

 

Are you wearing an Easter Top?

Well, I very much like what I see

Because there isn’t very much of it

And the contents are bursting free

LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL # 2

 

Let’s get this straight once and for all

Easter Day does not commemorate

The day in the gardens Of Gethsemane

When Jesus turned rabbits into chocolate

ARE YOU WEARING EASTER ANKLE SOCKS?

 

Are you wearing Easter ankle socks?

Well, they’re right on the money

They’re perfect for the Easter Parade

And you look as cute as a bunny

THE EASTER BUNNY’S STORY

The Easter Bunny’s Story

Is a classic Easter Tale

But given his characteristics

It might be a Cotton Tale

EASTER MEANING

 

Easter bunny

In his furry suit

Baby Chickens

Soft and cute

Easter cards

Of greeting

Sing praise at the

Sunday meeting

And remember

The meaning of Easter

 

It’s the chocolate eggs

It’s a no brainer

EASTER EGG HUNT

When it comes to hiding the eggs

In the garden at Easter

I can actually hide my own now

Thanks to Dementia 

YOU CAN LIKEN IT TO RUDOLF

 

Why does the Easter Bunny

Have such a shiny nose?

You can liken it to Rudolf

The thing actually glows

Well, the answer is obvious

And I don’t mean to offend

But it’s because his powder puff

Is stuck to his rear end

ARE YOU WEARING EASTER CHICKS?

 

Are you wearing Easter chicks?

They’re precious little honeys

But I have to be honest

I much prefer your bunnies

ARE YOU WEARING AN EASTER HAT?

 

Are you wearing an Easter Hat?

Well more accurately it’s a bonnet

It sits so perfectly on your head

And you’re as pretty as a sonnet

THE BEST EASTER ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 2

 

The best Easter actor of all time

Is something of an acting Ophelia

And there can only be one winner

And that would be Bunnie Bedelia

THE ONLY WAY THE EASTER BUNNY # 1

 

The only way the Easter Bunny

Can paint all of the eggs in time for Easter

Is to hire some of Santa's elves

During the slow season as casual labour

WHAT CAME FIRST, THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?

 

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

It’s a question as old as money

And the answer to it is quite obvious

It was in fact neither, it was the Easter Bunny

DURING THE EASTER HOLIDAY

 

During the Easter holiday

From coast to coast

What do you call a stuffed animal?

We call it a turkey roast