SORRY IF YOU CAUGHT ME STARING

 

Sorry if you caught me staring

But it was your fault to be fair

I was bedazzled by your beauty

And your shock of flaming hair

So, what else could I have done?

But stand open mouthed and stare

EURO SURVEY

 

There has been a survey, not a referendum,

To see if Britain should change to the Euro

And it appears that the no’s are in the majority

Apparently, they are happy to stick with the Giro

PUT DOWN # 40

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

And if they are relentless

And as thick as granite

Just say to him

"Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

THE WALKING WOUNDED

 

The walking wounded

And the living dead

The quibbling siblings

Daisy, Maisie and Fred

Every Tennis menace

And Rugger bugger

Every football hooligan

Every thief and mugger

Well, they’re all at it, everyone

Every daughter and son

Him and her and me and you

Doing what birds and bees do

SENIOR BRIGHT SIDE

 

There are benefits to getting old

Though you may feel you are cursed

But just remember in a hostage situation

You are likely to be released first

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 71

 

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

Jack jumped over the candlestick

But someone lit the candlestick

And poor old Jack burnt his wick

NHS CUT BACKS # 9

The NHS has plans to save money

But it is unclear who will oppose the plans

Radiologists can see through them

But the Surgeons just washed their hands

Hospital managers had a meeting and claimed

It will be a steep learning curve

While the Urologists wet themselves.

And the Neurologists lost their nerve