DEGRADED AND SPENT

 

Degraded and spent

Sullied but unashamed

She awoke in his arms

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 70

 

Half a pound of tuppenny rice,

Half a pound of treacle.

This will never make a bomb

Not even if you added diesel

NHS CUT BACKS # 8

 

The NHS has plans to save money

Paediatricians think them too tough

But their complaints have been rejected

As they are not considered grown up enough

THE SEVENTIES

 

If the 60s was the decade of dreams

Then the 1970’s was the decade of nightmares

It was the decade when

The German hex over England began

As in the heat of Mexico, in 1970

They knocked us out of the World Cup,

And it all went downhill from there

The defeat to Germany

Was to be England’s last appearance

In the World Cup Finals for 12 years.

The following year saw Arsenal,

The team we all love to hate,

Do the League and cup double.

1972 saw me enter the workplace

And I’ve been there ever since, but I’m not bitter.

1973 was a mixed year

Manchester United were relegated to division 2,

The Washington Redskins lost in the Superbowl

And a significant other entered my life.

1974 United won promotion as champions

But Liverpool won the FA Cup and they blossomed

Into a force that would dominate for years to come.

The following year Liverpool won the league title

In 1976 Southampton beat United in the cup final,

All the worse as my future father-in-law was a saint’s fan

The high point of the decade came in 77 when

United won the FA Cup, beating Liverpool 2-1

Normal service resumed for 1978

As I discovered there was more to girls

Then holding hands and stealing kisses.

And that they very definitely weren’t,

All sugar and spice and all thing nice

My significant other left me for an accountant,

Who supported Luton Town,

And to add insult onto injury was ginger

1979 United lost in the Cup Final to Arsenal

And so ended the decade of disappointments

When the only thing naffer than the music

Were the 70’s fashions

The decade that didn’t even have style

Or a decent musical accompaniment

The 70’s when dreams turned to nightmares

GAYNOR

 

Gaynor was pretty enough

Not top draw or second rate

But apart from being common

Gaynor was unfortunately Jailbait

CRISP ETIQUETTE

 

The chunky McCoy’s

Are the crisps for boys

The fluffy puffy curls

Are suitable for girls

And the uniform Pringles

Are for the sad singles

DEBBIE

 

I went out with a Debbie once

But most men of my generation

Have been out with a Debbie

It was hard to avoid any association

 

It was because of Debbie Reynolds

The actress from America

She was in “Singing in the Rain”

You know, Carrie Fishers Mother

 

They were hard to avoid anyway

They came in all shapes and sizes

Some were full of port and lemon

Some were full of surprises

 

But don’t think the name made

Debbie’s different to any other

I’m just bitter because my Debbie

Went off with my brother