21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 65

Mary had a woolly lamb

Who ran away from her

It was struck by lightning

And it’s now just polyester

HAPPY HOURS

 

I always liked happy hour

Well, when I was a younger chap

Now at my age I’m afraid

Happy hour is taking a little nap

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 13

 

I do have a favourite;

I like them with a predisposition

Basically, I like them dirty

And prepared for any position

 

I love feelier Ophelia

And mauler Paula 

Dirty Gertie

And pawer Dora

 

I love Harlot Charlotte

And Spanky Frankie

Molester Ester

And first in Kirsten

 

I love envelopy Penelope

Then get free again

For a crumpet strumpet

And game whatsaname

NHS CUT BACKS # 3

The NHS has plans to save money

And many are opposed to the suggestion

The Obstetricians feel that the government

Are labouring under a misconception

EXERCISE REGIME WEEK 2

 

You must have an exercise regime

My doctor advised me

But he said it is essential

To build it up very gradually

So, for the second week

I’ve begun to do a little more

I’ve started driving past

A sporting goods store

THE PILSBURY PHILOSOPHY

 

Isn’t life strange?

And it can be quite a dilemma

And occasionally unfair

i.e. The healthiest part of a doughnut

Is the hole, unfortunately

You have to eat through the rest to get there

NIGELA I’M NOT

 

I’m not a domestic goddess

And it’s not something I espouse

If you don’t believe me

Just ask the spouse

He’ll tell you, I only have a kitchen

Because it came with the house