21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 55

 

One, two, three, four, five.

Once I caught a fish alive,

Now you don’t see that every day

Not on the Thames anyway

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 3

 

I don’t have a favourite,

I love them all

Shorty and sporty

Petite and tall

 

Dowdy and flashy

High and mighty

Shy and vivacious

Safe and flighty

 

I love Juicy Lucy

Smelly Kelly,

Scraggy Maggie

And Silly Millie

 

I love Gay Mei

And Straight Kate

Spotty Dotty

And Plain Jane’s great

 

So is Jolly Molly

Clingy thingy

Obese Louise

And Skinny Ginny

 

I love Boozey Suzie

Sweaty Betty and all

I love them long,

I love them short, I love them tall

TUNNEL OF SELF LOVE

 

When a narcissist’s riding of

The tunnel of love is planned

He’ll want to sit alone in a car

So, he can hold his own hand

TRAFFIC CALMING MEASURES

 

The highways department have decided

In a review of speed management

To replace the current

Traffic calming measures

No more speed bumps

Or chicanes

Flashing road signs or traffic cameras

No bollards or over painted road surfaces

A newer cheaper alternative has been found

To promote road safety

So, the highways dept have decided

Just to stop repairing potholes

Because they really slow drivers down

A SMALL STATISTIC

 

Here is a statistic

That is a bit crappy

Only one in seven dwarves

Are actually happy

PERSONAL BANKING

 

I went to my bank yesterday

As I went to work, it’s on my way

I said to the cashier Miss Valance

“Hello, can you check my balance”

She replied “yes certainly Mr. Dover”

Then walked round and pushed me over

BUSAN TO SEOUL

I’m moving from Busan to Seoul

But my family don’t approve

But I start a new job in Seoul next week

And it’s a good Korea move