WRINKLE FREE

 

I have discovered a great way

To get wrinkle free skin

I just eat as much as I want

And the fat fills them in

UNTRUE SUE

 

I sit at home alone

Waiting by the telephone

Hoping to hear her tender tone

 

But all the time I knew

It was fruitless to pursue

The fickle heart of Sue

 

I’ll spend no more nights alone

Waiting for Sue to phone

I’m better off on my own

 

So let me warn you about sue

Before she gets her hooks in you

Her love is definitely untrue

 

For as soon as you’re apart

The infidelity will start

For she has a cheating heart

A THOUGHT

 

A thought, incomplete

Almost at its conception

Dies unformed

Another is stillborn

A lost unformed notion

More follow also fruitless

And unfulfilled

Then little more than an inkling

Emerges, grows quickly

Surviving into infancy

Only to be lost to distraction

Many more die unformed

Before a thought is born

Fully formed and grows quickly to maturity

But it was a stupid thought

OPPOSITES ATTRACT # 3

 

What a strange affair

That mismatched pair

A pair of opposites

Caviar and grits

What did they do?

That mismatched two

Who were juxtaposed?

He fucked her, I suppose

SENIOR DIVAN

 

I’m now officially old

And the tell-tale indicator

Is that having sex in a single bed

Isn’t an option any longer

DRAB DOREEN

 

My memory takes me back

To a time when I was young

And I was pleasurably distracted by Doreen

Dear Doreen, who people rather unkindly called plain

True her face was heavily freckled

And she rarely wore any makeup

But her eyes were the most dazzling blue and always smiled

Her hair was straight and chestnut brown

She was a skinny little thing and flat chested

But with the most exquisite bottom

I don’t know why people thought her plain

Maybe it’s because Doreen is a plain sounding name

I know one thing that is true

They would never have called her plain

If they had seen her in the bedroom

COLLAR AND CUFFS

 

Hey there blondie I really like your hair

But I bet that it’s a different shade down there

I bet you don’t have any white, blonde thatch

Your collar and cuffs certainly won’t match

Or maybe a mismatch really isn’t anticipated

Possibly you have already defoliated

I don’t mind you with or without down below

I’m an easy to please kind of fellow

And if you’re a bottle blonde I don’t care

Or if there is a mismatch with body hair

Any way it comes that’s my simple philosophy

And besides it’s not something I’m likely to see