I HAVE A LOVELY SON

 

I have a lovely son

He is my number one

He won’t be an only child

I hope for another one

But he is our first born

When all said and done

I won’t love him anymore

But he’ll always be number one

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 30

 

Hickory dickory dock

Something’s up with the clock

The clock’s struck dumb

The batteries run down

Useless bloody clock

PUT DOWN # 29

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

“Let's go back to my place!”

Would be a line well known

So just reply to him

“I don't think we'll both fit under that stone!”

THE NINE MUSES OF THE ARTS – MELPOMÈNE (MUSE OF TRAGEDY)

 

The nine muses

Daughters of Zeus

Inspiring of mortals

And nurturers of the arts

The fifth was,

The divine Melpomène,

The one that is melodious,

Was firstly the muse of singing

To celebrate with dance and song

Then she became the muse of tragedy

And hid behind a tragic mask

A knife or club in her hand

Creator of beautiful lyrical phrases

Melpomène muse of Horace

DEATH AND TAXES

 

Death and taxes are the only certainties

In a life full of possibilities

Paying Taxes is an unpleasant act

Which I don’t enjoy and that’s a fact

But death is a different proposition

It’s not exactly an option

But I’m not afraid to go

But I fear the manner of it so

STRIKE TWO

 

What would you say to someone?

With two shinning black eyes

Well, I wouldn’t say anything

They’ve clearly been told twice

PROFESSIONAL BLUNDERS

 

The medical profession can always

Bury their mistakes deeply

The legal profession can execute theirs

Finally, and completely

While journalism allow their errors

To be given centre stage

For all the world to see in black and white

Right on the front page